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" Some people call me a legend and the last of the greats, and I appreciate it. "

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" Some people say funny things, but I say things funny. "

" Funny is funny. "

" I've been hot, I've been lukewarm, I've been freezing, but I've always been a headliner. "

" You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude. "

" If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny. "

" I don't like to compare myself with anybody. "

" I was 28 when my father died, and I was an only child. "

" I'm a New Yorker, originally. I was raised in Jackson Heights. I went to P.S. 148 and then Newtown High School. If World War II didn't come, I'd still be there in school. World War II saved me. "

" After over 50 years of headlining, I've been received very beautifully. But I always say, when you're onstage, you can't please everybody. I'm sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that's OK. "

" I couldn't sell air conditioners on a 98-degree day. When I demonstrated them in a showroom, I pushed the wrong button and blew the circuit. "

" You know what's funny to me? Attitude. "

" Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I'm not a black. "

" Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder? "

" I write my own tweets. "

" I was in World War II; I cried when they took me in the Navy. That's the last time I cried. "

" Compared to what comics say today, I'm a monk, but in those days, it was unheard of to make fun of people like I did. Of course, they exaggerated how outrageous I really was. "

" I don't say I was the first, because, who knows, maybe there was a guy out in Minnesota doing it before me. "

" My grandchildren just know me now as Mr. Potato Head. "

" An insult is mean or unkind. Milton Berle called me the Sultan of Insult, and I was called the King of Insult. But the guy that gave me the best title - and I use it to this day - was Johnny Carson. He called me Mr. Warmth. "

" I told jokes badly. "

" Sinatra had a lot of mood swings, but he was wonderful to my wife Barbara and to me. He made no bones about who he liked and who he loved, and he had this great charisma. When he walked into a room, it stopped. I've only seen that happen with Ronald Reagan. "

" Alan King, a comedian I adored, was considered society, and I was considered the Jewish kid from the neighborhood. "

" You lose your energy, you lose that excitement and it gets the audience up. "

" I'm very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness. "

" I don't have regrets. I've never sat here and thought, 'Gee, if only I'd done 'The Man Who Came to Dinner' on Broadway, I would have been happier.' "

" My wife came into my life, and my mother still wanted to be the boss. "

" It's tough having the last name 'Rickles.' Luckily, my kids handled it great. "

" It's very sweet to have people say nice things about you, and I always accept that. "

" I enjoy mixed audiences, not one particular group. Short, tall, scientists, Jews, gentiles, whatever, as long as they breathe and like to laugh. "

" The thing I love about Vegas is that it's a melting pot. It's like working Ellis Island. "