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" To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent. "
Dave Barry
World
Teen
Nothing
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" Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other. "
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" It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money. "
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" The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. "
Dave Barry
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" In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act that apparently had something to do with stamps. "
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" The youth need to be enabled to become job generators from job seekers. "
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" It's so easy as a teen to feel like everybody is having this normal experience - except you. You're on the outside. "
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" The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species. "
Dave Barry
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" Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. "
Dave Barry
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" The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. "
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" So many people try to grow up too fast, and it's not fun! You should stay a kid as long as possible! "
Vanessa Hudgens
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" You've got to grow up sometime. "
Winona Ryder
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" I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford. "
Dave Barry
Good
Become
Children
" I grew up in a small town in Kansas, so I love meeting the fans. Those are the people who spend time out of their day to watch the things that I've done, and I've gotten to do some great supernatural stuff - 'Teen Wolf' and 'The Gates' before that - so it's nice when I get to go to Comic-Con every year. "
Colton Haynes
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" Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. "
Dave Barry
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" Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent? "
Dave Barry
Person
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Keep
" You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. "
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Once
" There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary. "
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More
Fashion
Dictionary
" As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. "
Fran Lebowitz
Happy
You
Teen
" Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough. "
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People
Activity
Skiing
" To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life. "
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" Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent. "
Dave Barry
Games
Football
Chicago
" The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs. "
Dave Barry
Truth
Simple
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" Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true! "
Dave Barry
Words
You
Wish
" I was considered chubby as a teen. "
Roger Moore
Chubby
Teen
Considered
" Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. "
Dave Barry
Christmas
Choice
Own
" Teen authors love to flirt with taboo, to grapple - sensitively - with dark and frightening issues, and there is nothing darker and more frightening than cancer. "
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" Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro. "
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" In the public, it seems to be painted that when minorities get pregnant, they need to get abortions, especially when it comes to teen pregnancy. It's like, when black girls are pregnant, it's like a statistic, but when white girls get pregnant, they get a TV show. "
Benjamin Watson
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" Adolescence is the conjugator of childhood and adulthood. "
Louise J. Kaplan
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" Nobody understands anyone 18, including those who are 18. "
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