Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. "

Related Quotes:

" It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. "

" Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. "

" If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job. "

" I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys. "

" I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. "

" I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown. "

" I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch. "

" My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. "

" I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. "

" Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. "

" Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there. "

" Tradition is the illusion of permanance. "

" I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib. "

" Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats. "

" Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon. "

" On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down . "

" I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. "

" What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? "

" Eighty percent of success is showing up. "

" Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. "

" I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. "

" If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. "

" Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies. "

" The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have. "

" Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. "

" I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. "

" I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead. "

" In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. "

" In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows. "

" I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear. "