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" Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. "
Woody Allen
Only
Money
Better
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" I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. "
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" Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness. "
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" I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. "
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" If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right. "
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" The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. "
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" Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words. "
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" Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. "
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" What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? "
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" If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. "
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" I failed to make the chess team because of my height. "
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" There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? "
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" What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. "
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" I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead. "
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" In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows. "
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" I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib. "
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" In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. "
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" Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun. "
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" I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear. "
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" His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy. "
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" I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch. "
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Gold
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Me
" Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all. "
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Any
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Rest
" I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle! "
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Triangle
Had
Great
" Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there. "
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" It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. "
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" My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. "
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" It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more. "
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Enjoy
People
World
" Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. "
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Television
Life
Art
" Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. "
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Horrible
Divided
Life
" It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune. "
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Impossible
Experience
Death
" Marriage is the death of hope. "
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Marriage
Death
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