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" And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians. "

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" Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and... both of them were independents, by the way. "

" I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you. "

" I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow. "

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" I don't remember the first half of my life. All I say is a happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life. "

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" If you ain't Texan, I ain't got time for you. "

" William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another. "

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" If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus. "

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