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" I don't apologize to people with an agenda. "
Kinky Friedman
Agenda
Apologize
People
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" These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable. "
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Listen
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Days
" Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and... both of them were independents, by the way. "
Kinky Friedman
Independents
Yes
Heart
" I never apologize for the truth. And the truth here is that racists come in many different colors. "
Kinky Friedman
Here
Truth
Colors
" I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma! "
Kinky Friedman
Oklahoma
Keep
Us
" I've always said money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail. "
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Love
Money
Said
" No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions. "
Kinky Friedman
Life
My Life
Nothing
" If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus. "
Kinky Friedman
Bus
Never
Leave
" The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror. "
Kinky Friedman
Same
Admiring
Mirror
" You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing. "
Kinky Friedman
Financial
Life
Famous
" I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough. "
Kinky Friedman
Far
Even
Become
" When I'm governor... I'll be the first governor with a listed telephone number. "
Kinky Friedman
Be The First
Telephone
Number
" We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and the politicians. "
Kinky Friedman
Got
Prisons
Politicians
" I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow. "
Kinky Friedman
Admit
Did
Swallow
" I'll tell you right now. I'm for prayer in school. "
Kinky Friedman
Right
Now
Prayer
" Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people. "
Kinky Friedman
Job
Home
Traveled
" Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail. "
Kinky Friedman
You
Love
Him
" Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive. "
Kinky Friedman
Remember
Possessive
Singular
" And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians. "
Kinky Friedman
Better
Run
Musicians
" I don't apologize to people who try to intimidate. "
Kinky Friedman
Who
Try
People
" You struggle with your demons and you conquer them. "
Kinky Friedman
Demons
Your
Conquer
" The first thing I'll do if elected is demand a recount. "
Kinky Friedman
Demand
Thing
Recount
" I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes. "
Kinky Friedman
Want
Texas
Roads
" William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another. "
Kinky Friedman
William
Saint
Patron
" May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore. "
Kinky Friedman
Respect
Me
You
" If you ain't Texan, I ain't got time for you. "
Kinky Friedman
You
Texan
Time
" I admit to drinking it, but I did not swallow. "
Kinky Friedman
Drinking
Swallow
Admit
" We were a country band with a social conscience. "
Kinky Friedman
Country
Were
Social
" I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us. "
Kinky Friedman
Gay
Support
Rest
" Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test. "
Kinky Friedman
Because
Test
Students
" I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care. "
Kinky Friedman
Young
Women
Too