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" Basically, I'm a really bad interviewer. I love meeting celebrities, but then I get a bit bored. Once you meet them you thing, 'really, what an ordinary person'. "

Graham Norton

Love

Person

You

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" Do I have more depth than I'm given credit for? No! "

Graham Norton

Depth

Given

" Tolerance is forced on people in London. "

" Occasionally the state of the planet can knock me off my perky perch. "

" I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive. "

" Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, 'You do realise this is a gay club, don't you lads?' you get all excited because you think, 'Wow, he thought I was straight!' "

" My parents grew up working class, but in that way that working class families do, they spent a fortune on education to better me. "

" The higher your profile becomes, the more aware you are that people out there might hate you. "

" All these people I interview are worth ten times what I'm worth. "

" Those years between drama school and getting onto the stand-up circuit were pretty lean. "

" My ambition was to stop waiting tables. That was how I measured success: finally, I was able to stop waiting tables, and I was able to pay the rent, and that was by being a stand-up comic. Not a very good stand-up comic, but good enough to make a living. "

" If you'd told the young Graham Norton that I'd one day have this amount of money, I'd have assumed it would have come from a lottery win. "

" You don't want to be hard to look at. Plain very good, hard to look at bad. The plain shall inherit the earth; time is our friend. "

" I am very quick to judge. "

Graham Norton

Quick

Judge

" I don't think you should have to try to be nice, I think most people are nice. I think being cheerful and nice is just a politeness. "

" I think the word is adult! "

" It's lovely to get one successful show - the chances of finding a second one are not so hot. "

" I am camp. Lots of gay men can't cope with their campness. They are in denial about it. "

" A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them. "

" If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt. "

Graham Norton

Going

Adopt

" Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do. "

" Britain's such a twisted, weird little place. "

" Forty freaked me out. I didn't see it coming. My life was in a state of chaos - I was moving jobs and moving house - and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. "

Graham Norton

Life

Moving

" I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste. "

" I am really bad at actually interviewing people. "

" I loved Lucille Ball growing up. "

" You don't want money to make you a social freak where you can only hang out with rich people. "

" I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship. "

" The people I want are very famous and very rich, and all I can offer them is a bit of exposure on TV and a bit of cash, so it's a miracle we get any guests at all. But we have been very lucky. "

" The BBC will always be attacked by whoever is in government. It is that George Bush thing of 'If you're not with us you are against us.' "

" Some people think they're depressed and they go to the doctor and want pills. And you just think: 'You hate where you live, you've lost your job, your boyfriend has dumped you, could all this be why you're depressed?' "