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" You don't want to be hard to look at. Plain very good, hard to look at bad. The plain shall inherit the earth; time is our friend. "
Graham Norton
Earth
Friend
You
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" All these people I interview are worth ten times what I'm worth. "
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" The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show. "
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" I do get pleasure from very inconsequential things, like shopping for clothes. "
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" I am really bad at actually interviewing people. "
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" Forty freaked me out. I didn't see it coming. My life was in a state of chaos - I was moving jobs and moving house - and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. "
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" Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do. "
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" Britain's such a twisted, weird little place. "
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" My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule. "
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Good
Friday
Day
" It sounds deeply shallow, but for brief spells every member of the public can be fascinating. "
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Shallow
Member
Public
" I've heard other gay people say when they were growing up they felt 'foreign.' Growing up, I was able to label these feelings as: 'I'm a Protestant.' It wasn't until I left, I thought: 'Oh, those weren't Protestant feelings.' "
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Thought
Gay
People
" All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I'm relatively available, but not to live with. "
Graham Norton
Home
People
Brain
" I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long. "
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Long
People
You
" You don't want money to make you a social freak where you can only hang out with rich people. "
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Rich
Money
Only
" Do I have more depth than I'm given credit for? No! "
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Depth
Given
More
" I don't think you should have to try to be nice, I think most people are nice. I think being cheerful and nice is just a politeness. "
Graham Norton
You
Be Nice
Nice
" If you'd told the young Graham Norton that I'd one day have this amount of money, I'd have assumed it would have come from a lottery win. "
Graham Norton
Money
Young
Lottery
" I don't think anyone wants to be gay. "
Graham Norton
Wants
Think
Gay
" The higher your profile becomes, the more aware you are that people out there might hate you. "
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Hate
People
Profile
" I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste. "
Graham Norton
Bad Taste
Think
Taste
" I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything. "
Graham Norton
Unhappy
Childhood
Like
" I am camp. Lots of gay men can't cope with their campness. They are in denial about it. "
Graham Norton
Cope
Gay
I Am
" I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive. "
Graham Norton
Singing
Alive
Heart
" My parents grew up working class, but in that way that working class families do, they spent a fortune on education to better me. "
Graham Norton
Parents
Class
Education
" An awful lot of female celebrities are very beautiful whereas a lot of male celebrities are not so hot. "
Graham Norton
Awful
Very
Lot
" Those years between drama school and getting onto the stand-up circuit were pretty lean. "
Graham Norton
Drama
Pretty
Years
" A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them. "
Graham Norton
Kind
Why
Bunch
" I spent a long time working in restaurants and making no money. It was very character-building, but I think it could have been built in a shorter time. "
Graham Norton
Long
Long Time
Money
" It's lovely to get one successful show - the chances of finding a second one are not so hot. "
Graham Norton
Lovely
Hot
Successful
" Tolerance is forced on people in London. "
Graham Norton
Forced
London
People
" I've so exceeded what I ever wanted to do. "
Graham Norton
Exceeded
Wanted
Ever