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" All these people I interview are worth ten times what I'm worth. "

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" My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule. "

" Tolerance is forced on people in London. "

" I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive. "

" All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I'm relatively available, but not to live with. "

" I am very quick to judge. "

" I think the word is adult! "

" Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do. "

" I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything. "

" Those years between drama school and getting onto the stand-up circuit were pretty lean. "

" The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show. "

" I am camp. Lots of gay men can't cope with their campness. They are in denial about it. "

" If you'd told the young Graham Norton that I'd one day have this amount of money, I'd have assumed it would have come from a lottery win. "

" I don't think anyone wants to be gay. "

" It's lovely to get one successful show - the chances of finding a second one are not so hot. "

" All my interesting stories are from before I was on television. Nothing interesting has happened to me since then. Maybe it's because the most interesting thing in my life is the show and that's on telly. "

" I do get pleasure from very inconsequential things, like shopping for clothes. "

" I've so exceeded what I ever wanted to do. "

" I spent a long time working in restaurants and making no money. It was very character-building, but I think it could have been built in a shorter time. "

" Forty freaked me out. I didn't see it coming. My life was in a state of chaos - I was moving jobs and moving house - and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. "

" I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste. "

" My ambition was to stop waiting tables. That was how I measured success: finally, I was able to stop waiting tables, and I was able to pay the rent, and that was by being a stand-up comic. Not a very good stand-up comic, but good enough to make a living. "

" I'm actually quite self-sufficient, so it might look as if there isn't room for anyone in my life. That isn't entirely the case. "

" Britain's such a twisted, weird little place. "

" An awful lot of female celebrities are very beautiful whereas a lot of male celebrities are not so hot. "

" Some people think they're depressed and they go to the doctor and want pills. And you just think: 'You hate where you live, you've lost your job, your boyfriend has dumped you, could all this be why you're depressed?' "

" If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt. "

" My life could have been so grim... really, really grim. "

" I don't think you should have to try to be nice, I think most people are nice. I think being cheerful and nice is just a politeness. "

" One of the great things about being gay and out is that the papers couldn't care less about your love life. "

" The BBC is a victim of its own independence. "