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" I am very quick to judge. "

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" Those years between drama school and getting onto the stand-up circuit were pretty lean. "

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" The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show. "

" I've heard other gay people say when they were growing up they felt 'foreign.' Growing up, I was able to label these feelings as: 'I'm a Protestant.' It wasn't until I left, I thought: 'Oh, those weren't Protestant feelings.' "

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" I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy. "

" Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, 'You do realise this is a gay club, don't you lads?' you get all excited because you think, 'Wow, he thought I was straight!' "

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" Occasionally the state of the planet can knock me off my perky perch. "

" Do I have more depth than I'm given credit for? No! "

" One of the great things about being gay and out is that the papers couldn't care less about your love life. "

" The BBC is a victim of its own independence. "

" An awful lot of female celebrities are very beautiful whereas a lot of male celebrities are not so hot. "

" Britain's such a twisted, weird little place. "

" All my interesting stories are from before I was on television. Nothing interesting has happened to me since then. Maybe it's because the most interesting thing in my life is the show and that's on telly. "

" My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule. "

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" I don't think anyone wants to be gay. "

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" Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do. "

" I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything. "