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" The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show. "

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" I loved Lucille Ball growing up. "

" I've so exceeded what I ever wanted to do. "

" Some people think they're depressed and they go to the doctor and want pills. And you just think: 'You hate where you live, you've lost your job, your boyfriend has dumped you, could all this be why you're depressed?' "

" You don't want to be hard to look at. Plain very good, hard to look at bad. The plain shall inherit the earth; time is our friend. "

" Occasionally the state of the planet can knock me off my perky perch. "

" I am camp. Lots of gay men can't cope with their campness. They are in denial about it. "

" I spent a long time working in restaurants and making no money. It was very character-building, but I think it could have been built in a shorter time. "

" I don't think you should have to try to be nice, I think most people are nice. I think being cheerful and nice is just a politeness. "

" My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule. "

" Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do. "

" I think the word is adult! "

" It's amazing how I can just ramble on for hours, isn't it? And so unentertaining or uninteresting. But I can ramble on for hours. It's a sort of terrible gift, isn't it? "

" Forty freaked me out. I didn't see it coming. My life was in a state of chaos - I was moving jobs and moving house - and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. "

" I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste. "

" My life could have been so grim... really, really grim. "

" I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long. "

" I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship. "

" I'd like to retire at 50 but I don't want to sell papers in the middle of London on a Zimmer. "

" Well, certainly I think American television is - that's proper TV. "

" I am very quick to judge. "

" All these people I interview are worth ten times what I'm worth. "

" It sounds deeply shallow, but for brief spells every member of the public can be fascinating. "

" I don't think anyone wants to be gay. "

" One of the great things about being gay and out is that the papers couldn't care less about your love life. "

" An awful lot of female celebrities are very beautiful whereas a lot of male celebrities are not so hot. "

" It's lovely to get one successful show - the chances of finding a second one are not so hot. "

" If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt. "

" I am really bad at actually interviewing people. "

" Do I have more depth than I'm given credit for? No! "

" I do get pleasure from very inconsequential things, like shopping for clothes. "