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" If you'd told the young Graham Norton that I'd one day have this amount of money, I'd have assumed it would have come from a lottery win. "

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" My parents grew up working class, but in that way that working class families do, they spent a fortune on education to better me. "

" The BBC is a victim of its own independence. "

" I am very quick to judge. "

" One of the great things about being gay and out is that the papers couldn't care less about your love life. "

" I don't think you should have to try to be nice, I think most people are nice. I think being cheerful and nice is just a politeness. "

" The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show. "

" I do get pleasure from very inconsequential things, like shopping for clothes. "

" Do I have more depth than I'm given credit for? No! "

" I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long. "

" It's lovely to get one successful show - the chances of finding a second one are not so hot. "

" All my interesting stories are from before I was on television. Nothing interesting has happened to me since then. Maybe it's because the most interesting thing in my life is the show and that's on telly. "

" Those years between drama school and getting onto the stand-up circuit were pretty lean. "

" Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do. "

" Britain's such a twisted, weird little place. "

" I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste. "

" You don't want money to make you a social freak where you can only hang out with rich people. "

" I'm actually quite self-sufficient, so it might look as if there isn't room for anyone in my life. That isn't entirely the case. "

" A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them. "

" My ambition was to stop waiting tables. That was how I measured success: finally, I was able to stop waiting tables, and I was able to pay the rent, and that was by being a stand-up comic. Not a very good stand-up comic, but good enough to make a living. "

" I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive. "

" I am really bad at actually interviewing people. "

" You don't want to be hard to look at. Plain very good, hard to look at bad. The plain shall inherit the earth; time is our friend. "

" An awful lot of female celebrities are very beautiful whereas a lot of male celebrities are not so hot. "

" I'd like to retire at 50 but I don't want to sell papers in the middle of London on a Zimmer. "

" Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, 'You do realise this is a gay club, don't you lads?' you get all excited because you think, 'Wow, he thought I was straight!' "

" It sounds deeply shallow, but for brief spells every member of the public can be fascinating. "

" Basically, I'm a really bad interviewer. I love meeting celebrities, but then I get a bit bored. Once you meet them you thing, 'really, what an ordinary person'. "

" I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy. "

" I am camp. Lots of gay men can't cope with their campness. They are in denial about it. "

" Forty freaked me out. I didn't see it coming. My life was in a state of chaos - I was moving jobs and moving house - and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. "