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" It's lovely to get one successful show - the chances of finding a second one are not so hot. "

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" All my interesting stories are from before I was on television. Nothing interesting has happened to me since then. Maybe it's because the most interesting thing in my life is the show and that's on telly. "

" I've heard other gay people say when they were growing up they felt 'foreign.' Growing up, I was able to label these feelings as: 'I'm a Protestant.' It wasn't until I left, I thought: 'Oh, those weren't Protestant feelings.' "

" I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything. "

" One of the great things about being gay and out is that the papers couldn't care less about your love life. "

" Some people think they're depressed and they go to the doctor and want pills. And you just think: 'You hate where you live, you've lost your job, your boyfriend has dumped you, could all this be why you're depressed?' "

" Tolerance is forced on people in London. "

" If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt. "

" I am camp. Lots of gay men can't cope with their campness. They are in denial about it. "

" Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do. "

" I loved Lucille Ball growing up. "

" I think the word is adult! "

" I've so exceeded what I ever wanted to do. "

" Britain's such a twisted, weird little place. "

" Forty freaked me out. I didn't see it coming. My life was in a state of chaos - I was moving jobs and moving house - and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. "

" An awful lot of female celebrities are very beautiful whereas a lot of male celebrities are not so hot. "

" My ambition was to stop waiting tables. That was how I measured success: finally, I was able to stop waiting tables, and I was able to pay the rent, and that was by being a stand-up comic. Not a very good stand-up comic, but good enough to make a living. "

" All these people I interview are worth ten times what I'm worth. "

" I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long. "

" I am very quick to judge. "

" I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy. "

" Do I have more depth than I'm given credit for? No! "

" My life could have been so grim... really, really grim. "

" The BBC is a victim of its own independence. "

" It sounds deeply shallow, but for brief spells every member of the public can be fascinating. "

" I spent a long time working in restaurants and making no money. It was very character-building, but I think it could have been built in a shorter time. "

" The BBC will always be attacked by whoever is in government. It is that George Bush thing of 'If you're not with us you are against us.' "

" I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship. "

" I don't think anyone wants to be gay. "

" My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule. "

" If you'd told the young Graham Norton that I'd one day have this amount of money, I'd have assumed it would have come from a lottery win. "