Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" I wasn't really a performer by temperament. "

Related Quotes:

" Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you. "

" It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year. "

" I like Jon Stewart. He's not as obnoxious as Dennis Miller, whom I really can't stand. "

" When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex. "

" I was immersed in popular songs of the time, of the '30s and '40s. I was writing songs, making fun of the attitudes of those songs, in the musical style of the songs themselves; love songs, folk songs, marches, football. "

" Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it. "

" I always prided myself on at least trying to be literate and use the right words, and if the audience didn't get it, then they could go home and look it up. "

" I have always found it interesting... that there are people who regard copyright infringement as a form of flattery. "

" It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years. "

" Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your thumbs. "

" I'm not interested in promoting myself or revealing to total strangers anything about me. That's not my job. "

" If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up about it. "

" The people who were in college in the '50s were my first real audience, and their kids, the people who found my records in the cabinet during their 'Mad 'magazine years picked me up also. "

" San Francisco is a city of twenty-something millionaire white kids named Doug. "

" Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel peace prize. "

" The real issues I don't think most people touch. The Clinton jokes are all about Monica Lewinsky and all that stuff and not about the important things, like the fact that he wouldn't ban landmines. "

" An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent. "

" The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability. "

" I thought about majoring in Math, Chemistry and English, but Math had the fewest requirements, so I went with it. I knew I wanted to teach, and Math was my field, so I studied Math. "

" I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up. "

" You can't be satirical and not be offensive to somebody. "

" If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend or, perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while. "

" I'm not tempted to write a song about George W. Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. "

" I loved high school, but I wouldn't want to do it again. "

" Irreverence is easy - what's hard is wit. "

" I stopped performing because I don't have the temperament of a performer. You have to want to do the same thing over and over again. Once I got it right, I didn't want to do it again. I always use the analogy of a novelist who has to read his novel in public night after night. I just didn't want to do it. "

" Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize. "

" Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play? "

" I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up. "

" Eddie Izzard is wonderful, I think, but I've only seen that one HBO special he did. He's one of the few people who talk about stuff other than girlfriends and relationships and flatulence and genitalia. There are very few of them who actually talk about real stuff. "