Home
Authors
Tags
App
Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App
" If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend or, perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while. "
Tom Lehrer
Loved
Worth
Say
Related Quotes:
" I figure I wrote 37 songs in 20 years, and that's not exactly a full-time job. It wasn't that I was writing and writing and writing and quit. Every now and then I wrote something, and every now and then I didn't. The second just outnumbered the first. "
Tom Lehrer
Writing
Quit
Now And Then
" San Francisco is a city of twenty-something millionaire white kids named Doug. "
Tom Lehrer
San
City
Kids
" When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex. "
Tom Lehrer
Than
Sex
You
" I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up. "
Tom Lehrer
Shut Up
People
I Wish
" Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize. "
Tom Lehrer
Peace
Satire
Prize
" If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up about it. "
Tom Lehrer
Person
Feels
He
" In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.' "
Tom Lehrer
Girl
Say
Now
" On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away. "
Tom Lehrer
You
Three
Box
" It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year. "
Tom Lehrer
Dead
Age
Been
" I'm not interested in promoting myself or revealing to total strangers anything about me. That's not my job. "
Tom Lehrer
Myself
Job
Anything
" Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel peace prize. "
Tom Lehrer
Nobel
Satire
Political
" Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your thumbs. "
Tom Lehrer
Just
You
Thumbs
" The real issues I don't think most people touch. The Clinton jokes are all about Monica Lewinsky and all that stuff and not about the important things, like the fact that he wouldn't ban landmines. "
Tom Lehrer
People
Important
Real
" I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity. "
Tom Lehrer
Adolescence
Trying
Maturity
" I stopped performing because I don't have the temperament of a performer. You have to want to do the same thing over and over again. Once I got it right, I didn't want to do it again. I always use the analogy of a novelist who has to read his novel in public night after night. I just didn't want to do it. "
Tom Lehrer
Right
Always
Night
" Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh. "
Tom Lehrer
You
Funny
Humor
" I thought about majoring in Math, Chemistry and English, but Math had the fewest requirements, so I went with it. I knew I wanted to teach, and Math was my field, so I studied Math. "
Tom Lehrer
Math
Teach
Thought
" I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! "
Tom Lehrer
Like
Hate
Know
" Irreverence is easy - what's hard is wit. "
Tom Lehrer
Easy
Irreverence
Wit
" The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability. "
Tom Lehrer
Army
Race
Color
" Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it. "
Tom Lehrer
Like
Life
Piano
" The people who were in college in the '50s were my first real audience, and their kids, the people who found my records in the cabinet during their 'Mad 'magazine years picked me up also. "
Tom Lehrer
Me
Audience
College
" I have always found it interesting... that there are people who regard copyright infringement as a form of flattery. "
Tom Lehrer
Flattery
People
Interesting
" Bad weather always looks worse through a window. "
Tom Lehrer
Looks
Bad Weather
Window
" An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent. "
Tom Lehrer
Talent
Ego
Her
" Life is like a sewer: what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. "
Tom Lehrer
Get
You
Sewer
" One of the things I'm proudest of is, on my record 'That Was the Year that Was' in 1965, I made a joke about spending $20 billion sending some clown to the moon. I was against the manned space program then, and I'm even more against it now, that whole waste of money. "
Tom Lehrer
Now
Space
Clown
" When you're in a public profession like I was, and you stop doing it like I did, people think you're either crazy or dead. "
Tom Lehrer
Think
Stop
People
" When I was in college, there were certain words you couldn't say in front of a girl. Now you can say them, but you can't say 'girl.' "
Tom Lehrer
Girl
College
You
" I didn't feel the need for anonymous affection, for people in the dark applauding. To me, it would be like writing a novel and then getting up every night and reading your novel. "
Tom Lehrer
Writing
Night
Me