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" The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability. "

Related Quotes:

" I figure I wrote 37 songs in 20 years, and that's not exactly a full-time job. It wasn't that I was writing and writing and writing and quit. Every now and then I wrote something, and every now and then I didn't. The second just outnumbered the first. "

Tom Lehrer

Writing

Quit

Now And Then

" San Francisco is a city of twenty-something millionaire white kids named Doug. "

" An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent. "

" If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend or, perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while. "

" The real issues I don't think most people touch. The Clinton jokes are all about Monica Lewinsky and all that stuff and not about the important things, like the fact that he wouldn't ban landmines. "

" On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away. "

" It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year. "

" If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up about it. "

Tom Lehrer

Person

Feels

" I'm not interested in promoting myself or revealing to total strangers anything about me. That's not my job. "

" When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex. "

" There's something mathematically satisfying about music: notes fit together and harmony and all that. And mathematics has to do with abstractions and making connections. "

" I always prided myself on at least trying to be literate and use the right words, and if the audience didn't get it, then they could go home and look it up. "

" I thought about majoring in Math, Chemistry and English, but Math had the fewest requirements, so I went with it. I knew I wanted to teach, and Math was my field, so I studied Math. "

" Bad weather always looks worse through a window. "

" The people who were in college in the '50s were my first real audience, and their kids, the people who found my records in the cabinet during their 'Mad 'magazine years picked me up also. "

Tom Lehrer

Audience

College

" In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.' "

" Irreverence is easy - what's hard is wit. "

" When I was in college, there were certain words you couldn't say in front of a girl. Now you can say them, but you can't say 'girl.' "

" I like Jon Stewart. He's not as obnoxious as Dennis Miller, whom I really can't stand. "

Tom Lehrer

Really

" I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up. "

Tom Lehrer

Person

Shut Up

" Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play? "

" I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! "

Tom Lehrer

Hate

Know

" I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity. "

" Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you. "

" When you're in a public profession like I was, and you stop doing it like I did, people think you're either crazy or dead. "

" Life is like a sewer: what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. "

" You can't be satirical and not be offensive to somebody. "

" Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel peace prize. "

" Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize. "

" Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh. "