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" I've never been to a dinner party where everyone at the dinner table didn't say something funny. "
Lorrie Moore
Funny
Dinner
Table
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" Literature, of course, is not a contest. "
Lorrie Moore
Course
Contest
Literature
" I can really stir up a conversation. Every time I go to a meeting or a casting, I try to make it as light and funny as I can. I'm always making really awkward jokes. You have to make life fun and not take it too seriously. I may look like I'm very serious and into my work, but if you knew me, I'm just a jokester. "
Charlotte McKinney
Light
Work
Fun
" You see much more of your children once they leave home. "
Lucille Ball
Children
You
See
" You know, I'm just a very boring, not very funny person in person. I don't feel pressured to be otherwise. "
Lorrie Moore
Boring
Person
You
" What's funny is that the idea of popularity - even the use of the word 'popular' - is something that had been mostly absent from my life since junior high. In fact, the hallmark of life after junior high seemed to be the shedding of popularity as a central concern. "
Susan Orlean
High
Word
Life
" If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents. "
Marcelene Cox
You
Parents
Funny
" Its funny, because for females in general - not just in music, but the corporate ladder as well - anything we do has always been harder for us. When it comes to music, the industry wants you to conform, to look like this and to sound like this and do this or that. It makes it harder. It's harder for us to come out and be bosses and lead the pack. "
Missy Elliott
Funny
Look
Ladder
" I never thought of myself as like, a funny person. "
Lena Dunham
Thought
Person
Never
" It's a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children. "
Alan Alda
Funny
You
Children
" It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes. "
Jay London
Funny
Roll
Started
" The only really good piece of advice I have for my students is, 'Write something you'd never show your mother or father.' And you know what they say? 'I could never do that!' "
Lorrie Moore
Advice
Father
Good
" I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. "
Elayne Boosler
Think
People
Funny
" You can't be a real spy and have everybody in the world know who you are and what your drink is. That's just hysterically funny. "
Roger Moore
Drink
World
Funny
" Japanese people have a funny habit of abbreviating names. "
Shigeru Miyamoto
Funny
People
Names
" I like children - fried. "
W. C. Fields
Like
Children
Fried
" I've always surrounded myself with funny people. "
Leslie Mann
People
Funny
Always
" The reward of energy, enterprise and thrift is taxes. "
William Feather
Reward
Thrift
Funny
" 'Copper' is my first period piece. It's funny because I've been doing a lot of episodes of 'Elementary' with Johnny Lee Miller and Lucy Liu; they keep bringing me back on the show, and so I go from being an outstanding black doctor to being a kind of hood, ex-car thief who went through rehab in 'Elementary.' "
Ato Essandoh
Funny
Doctor
Black
" If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. "
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
You
Sit
Me
" I discovered that funny animal pictures - memes - would get a lot of likes and shares. "
George Takei
Lot
Likes
Pictures
" It's really funny because the same people who loved me as Stringer Bell were the same people that were watching 'Daddy's Little Girls' literally in tears. "
Idris Elba
Funny
Little Girls
Me
" I don't need you to be funny. I don't want to be entertained. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Need
Entertained
You
" It is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic principle of physics, that action and reaction are equal and opposite, that when you persecute people you always rouse them to be strong and stronger. "
Gertrude Stein
" I love fools' experiments. I am always making them. "
Charles Darwin
Love
Always
Fools
" It's funny, I get a little quieter with time. I don't want to chase my tail and one day repeat myself and repeat myself and one day have kids going to college and not have memories that I should, because I was too busy doing my thing. "
Dave Matthews
Time
Myself
Memories
" I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. "
Steven Wright
Funny
Included
Some
" I'm good at coming up with wacky characters and funny dialogue. "
Marlon Wayans
Wacky
Dialogue
Coming
" A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Funny
You
Having
" I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. "
Billy Connolly
Army
See
Always
" There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. "
Josh Billings
Mistake
Memory
Funny