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" I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. "

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" We spend a lot of time on Skype and other video interviews, and it's funny how many people will prepare for a Skype interview by wearing a formal suit jacket with pajama pants on the bottom. Then suddenly, someone is at the door, and you have to get up, and you realize you're wearing reindeer boxers. Just put pants on. "

Kathryn Minshew

" I'm not that good looking. That's why 'Gangnam Style' works. If someone handsome uses that phrase it's just awkward. But if someone like me uses it, it's funny. "

" I think the eyes flirt most. There are so many ways to use them. "

" Boston is actually the capital of the world. You didn't know that? We breed smart-ass, quippy, funny people. Not that I'm one of them. I just sorta sneaked in under the radar. "

" If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. "

" I had no desire to get up onstage and tell jokes. I prefer to stand next to really funny people. "

" Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that's who you are. Don't try to be someone that society wants you to be; that's stupid. So be yourself. "

Christina Grimmie

" When I was born I owed twelve dollars. "

George S. Kaufman

" You know, what's funny to one person is not at all to someone else. "

" Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the top. "

" I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. "

" There is a saying that if you get something for free, you should know that you're the product. It was never more true than in the case of Facebook and Gmail and YouTube. You get free social-media services, and you get free funny cat videos. In exchange, you give up the most valuable asset you have, which is your personal data. "

Yuval Noah Harari

" The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously. "

" A word to the wise is infuriating. "

Hunter S. Thompson

" Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you. "

" I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. "

" Fencing is a funny sport. Competitive fencing is not really very applicable to the stage world unless you're fighting with a rapier during the Renaissance, you know? "

Kris Holden-Ried

" It's a funny thing: my name in Arabic means hope, so I suppose I have to live by that principle. Hope is desire, feeling, and investing in a projection of something that doesn't yet exist. At its best, you witness its alchemy in your life, turning something that was once in the mind into reality. At its worst, it's delusion. "

" Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. "

" Instant gratification takes too long. "

" As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It's something they reserve just for me. "

" It's funny: I was a photographer before I was a programmer. "

" How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven. "

" There is always something funny going on between scenes with Adam Sandler. He's always cracking jokes and yelling at people for no reason. It's pretty funny. He'll joke around during scenes, too. When he guest-starred on 'Jessie,' there was nothing in the script that he said first take. "

" Katy Perry still gets me every time. She's very funny in person! We met at the Teen Choice Awards and she pulled my cheeks apart and told me how cute I was. My life was literally flashing before my eyes! "

" When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice. "

" When I have had a long day at work, I want something to watch that is funny, lighthearted and easy to get into, and reality is that. I'm not really into serious programmes or documentaries. "

" I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.' "

" I grew up in a funny way. "

" I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. "