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" The only thing that is obscene is censorship. "

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" Never question the relevance of truth, but always question the truth of relevance. "

" Live every day as if it is your last, and you'll be correct sooner than you otherwise would be. "

" Organizations like the ACLU fought and won the good fight back in the 1960's, but it's clear that nowadays they've run out of useful things to do since they now spend most of their time defending the scum of the Earth from getting what they rightly deserve. "

" Something is always simple until you try it. "

" Temporary solutions often become permanent problems. "

" It's funny how most activists are pacifists. "

" When anarchy is declared, the first thing we do, let's kill all the anarchists. "

The First Thing

" From each according to his ability, to each according to his ability. "

" I wonder if those people shown protesting the deployment of nuclear weapons to western Europe during the Reagan era are feeling appropriately stupid today. 'Please don't take away our precious Soviet Union! - We demand the annihilation of all life on Earth!' "

" Whoever invented double clicking should be shot in the head! Twice! "

" When you are finished with it, put it back in the first place that you looked for it. "

" Now is the time for all good men to run like hell. "

" The entire universe is working against me. I can't believe the entire universe could be that foolish! "

" If I gave a damn what other people think of me, I would be more like other people. "

" Fighting a war on terrorism is like fighting against crime. We can never hope to eradicate crime, so we shouldn't bother fighting it. "

" You usually have to wait for that which is worth waiting for. "

" I think; therefore, I am the center of the universe. "

" Time is a resource whose supply is inversely proportional to its demand. "

" The Thought Police: To censor and protect. "

" Nothing surpasses the beauty and elegance of a bad idea. "

" In order for a man to be truly evil, he must be a woman. "

" It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow. "

" 1 + 1 = 2. Everything else is derived. "

Everything Else

" The only people I've ever heard saying that disagreeing with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld is un-American or treasonous are people who disagree with Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld. "

" Even IBM can't stand in the way of progress... for more than a decade. "

" Anything on paper is obsolete! "

" Silence is a statement that is open to gross misinterpretation. "

" The people who actually do things always suffer the slings and arrows of those who don't. "

" Liberalism is financed by the dividends from Conservatism. "

" Think Tank, noun: The shower. "