Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" I am the shortest and least funny person in my family. "

Heather Donahue

Related Quotes:

" We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know. "

" O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. "

Saint Augustine

" I spent a year in that town, one Sunday. "

" We spend a lot of time on Skype and other video interviews, and it's funny how many people will prepare for a Skype interview by wearing a formal suit jacket with pajama pants on the bottom. Then suddenly, someone is at the door, and you have to get up, and you realize you're wearing reindeer boxers. Just put pants on. "

Kathryn Minshew

" As I get older, I just prefer to knit. "

" Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them. "

" I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. "

" I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. "

" I was just a goofy little funny kid, who was always getting sent to the principal. It wasn't serious because I was smart. I wasn't like a true troublemaker, just rambunctious - like, talkative and trying to be funny. That was me in middle-school. "

" All generalizations are false, including this one. "

Generalizations

" I try to sign for as many kids as possible. Kids come first, and I'll always sign for a kid before an adult. It's funny, because I was never big into autographs as a kid. The only player who I ever wanted an autograph from was Dave Winfield. "

" I don't care how handsome or fabulous or funny the groom is, or how sweet and accommodating the bride, or vice versa. Marriage is hard. "

" You see much more of your children once they leave home. "

" People naturally want to retweet and engage on super funny videos and memes. "

" I can speak Esperanto like a native. "

" All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. "

" I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. "

Political Party

" I failed to make the chess team because of my height. "

" But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone. "

Garry Shandling

" I went out with seven actors in a row. There are problems with that. I've had the really good-looking dramatic actor, and that has its problems. And then I'll go out with the funny guy. It's almost like the funny guy has more to prove. "

Jennifer Coolidge

" Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate. "

" If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. "

Alice Roosevelt Longworth

" Now a 'funnyman' can get a laugh before opening his mouth - looking funny. Lou Costello was one of your great funnymen. Harry Langdon, Larry Semon; they were all funnymen - they looked funny. W.C. Fields was never a comedian. Slim Summerville was a comedian, yet looked funny. Now if you have both attributes, you are in good shape. "

" I never liked you, and I always will. "

" Reality continues to ruin my life. "

" They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that? "

" Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got. "

" Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends. "

" People say funny things all the time during really serious moments in life. "

" I've had an experience through music that has touched almost every part of me. It educated me in ways that I didn't get educated in school. So we try to lay on a bit of that, through being funny, being serious, playing hard. "

Bruce Springsteen