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" There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. "

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" One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is. "

" Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it. "

" It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. "

" Humor is rare in science fiction... there's so little of it that it automatically reminds you of other heroes with that acerbic humor when you find it. "

" A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. "

" When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911. "

" If you are a small company taking on a big company, you need to have a sense of humor. "

Richard Branson

" Total absence of humor renders life impossible. "

Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

" I think kids want the same thing from a book that adults want - a fast-paced story, characters worth caring about, humor, surprises, and mystery. A good book always keeps you asking questions, and makes you keep turning pages so you can find out the answers. "

" Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother. "

" I love Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart because they're bringing irony back into American humor, which is a delicious treat. The entire Colbert persona of being extreme right-wing when he's not at all is highly amusing. He does it so well, but sometimes a little too well. My wife is convinced he's completely that way. "

" Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you. "

" I don't feel any need to play the role of the clown. In my private life I take a break from humor. "

" Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. "

" When humor works, it works because it's clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real. "

" I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up. "

" Humor is an antidote to all ills. "

" Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old. "

" I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor. "

" When humor goes, there goes civilization. "

" Humor is the most engaging cowardice. "

" Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud. "

" I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. "

" You've got to have a sense of humor to keep your sanity. "

" Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone? "

" When you say a friend has a sense of humor do you mean that he makes you laugh, or that he can make you laugh? "

" The man with the real sense of humor is the man who can put himself in the spectator's place and laugh at his own misfortune. "

" Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead. "

" I am often the brunt of my own humor. "

Charles R. Swindoll

" Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you. "