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All Quotes by author - Louis C. K.

" A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody. "

" A lot of the struggle I had with movies is I really loved moments and tones and feelings in a scene, and I loved creating those, but I never really had great stories to string them together. "

" A lot of TV is put together by teams, by writing staffs and several different directors. It's a great, very smart way to make television. It's worked for however long TV's been around. "

" America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out. "

" Anytime you see a bit where some stranger does something to me, it's me. "

" A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much. "

" Being popular with an audience is a very rickety ladder to be on. "

" Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing. "

" Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff. "

" Comedians work great as actors because they're good under pressure. With a lot of actors, you have to make them feel like everything's going really well to get a good performance out of them. But, if you have a comedian on the set, you can tell them, 'Hey, you really are screwing this up,' and then they just get better. "

" Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I approach it. "

" Every day starts, my eyes open and I reload the program of misery. I open my eyes, remember who I am, what I'm like, and I just go, 'Ugh'. "

" Everything that people say is testable. "

" For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I'm making plenty of money. "

" Gay men have to go through something to own their - who they are. They get beat up. They get ostracized. Whatever they go through, if they survive it, they come out very confident people. "

" I could never sit down and write jokes. "

" I definitely look at my body and I go: 'Yuck.' "

" I do actually use a boxing trainer when I train for stand-up. "

" I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is. "

" I don't believe in this idea of, 'That's hate speech, stop it.' "

" I don't have a brother in real life. "

" I don't have a room full of writers pitching ideas. It's just me out of my head. "

" I don't know what it's like to be an actor, where if your show gets canceled, really you're just a bum. "

" I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.' "

" I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself. "

" I don't think it makes any sense to try to get anyone to not talk. "

" I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women. "

" If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don't. "

" If I owned a network, I would never let a guy just put people on without telling me who they are. "

" If you're a cartoon character or most TV characters, sure, you'll fight, because the punches are juicy-sounding and they don't leave marks. But in real life, if somebody punches you in the eye, it doesn't make any noise and your eye is swollen for, like, six months. It's a nightmare to get punched in the eye. "

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