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" I'm not a big method actor. I'm much more superficial. "
Colin Quinn
Superficial
More
Big
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" So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation. "
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" I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them. "
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" I like guy stuff. "
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" I'm just another guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, in a long line of them. "
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" The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests. "
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" I think I identify more with the smart guy, but most people might take umbrage at that. I like to think of myself as a real thinker, but I suppose people might beg to differ. "
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" My name has zero value. "
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Name
Value
Zero
" You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers. "
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Money
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Pay
" I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it. "
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Look
Feel
Empires
" You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it. "
Colin Quinn
Funny
Small
Small Things
" For the most part, comedians are pretty friendly with each other. They always say they badmouth each other, but most of the time, they're friends. We're the only ones that can really stand our type of humor. "
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Friends
Always
Say
" It was tumultuous, it was crazy, but I would not trade it for anything. "
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Trade
Crazy
Would
" Everybody's funny in different ways. "
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Ways
Different
Everybody
" The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either. "
Colin Quinn
Life
You
Worth
" Stand-up is live, so I'm used to being live for most of my career. It's interesting. "
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Most
Career
Interesting
" I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you couldn't be a comedian. "
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World
Like
Say
" Everybody's got a different sense of humor. It's just different styles. "
Colin Quinn
Sense
Sense Of Humor
Different
" My stand-up act? I combine the fact that the world is a violent place with the fact that each person is responsible for the situation they are in. "
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Situation
Place
World
" Humanity is a crazy contradiction. I accept us for who we are. We're not that great. Every time we take a step forward we go back to the same primitive behavior. We're meant to be this way. It's not our fault, it's just who we are. "
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Humanity
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" Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult. "
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Person
Dangerous
Hands
" Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it. "
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You
Days
Get
" With comedians, you have that understanding that we're trying to get laughs. "
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Understanding
You
Comedians
" I write all the time - I write poetry, I love to write. "
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I Love
Poetry
Love
" You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody. "
Colin Quinn
Just
You
Just Be
" I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway. "
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Think
Work
You
" The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things. "
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Thinking
People
More
" I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit. "
Colin Quinn
Kings
Feel
Reason
" He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be. "
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Good
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Place
" I was a class clown. "
Colin Quinn
Class Clown
Clown
Class
" Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type. "
Colin Quinn
You
Funny
Cake