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" Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type. "
Colin Quinn
You
Funny
Cake
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" I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you couldn't be a comedian. "
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" I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit. "
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" If I had to give up everything else and keep just one aspect of the job, I'd have to keep writing because I love it. Yes, I enjoy performing, too. But I couldn't give up writing material. "
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" I always wanted to write as much as perform. "
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" The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either. "
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" I'm quietly becoming New York's premiere actor. People don't understand. They have me pigeon-holed as a comedian. "
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" The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests. "
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" I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it. "
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" The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things. "
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Thinking
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" For the most part, comedians are pretty friendly with each other. They always say they badmouth each other, but most of the time, they're friends. We're the only ones that can really stand our type of humor. "
Colin Quinn
Friends
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" With comedians, you have that understanding that we're trying to get laughs. "
Colin Quinn
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" My name has zero value. "
Colin Quinn
Name
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Zero
" He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be. "
Colin Quinn
Good
People
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" I'm just another guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, in a long line of them. "
Colin Quinn
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Who
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" Everybody's funny in different ways. "
Colin Quinn
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Everybody
" So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation. "
Colin Quinn
Situation
War
Violence
" I've been to Japan, I've been to China, I've been to Africa, I've been to the Middle East, I've been to Europe a little bit. I've never been to South America. "
Colin Quinn
America
Never
China
" I'm not a big method actor. I'm much more superficial. "
Colin Quinn
Superficial
More
Big
" You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers. "
Colin Quinn
Money
Nothing
Pay
" Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it. "
Colin Quinn
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Days
Get
" I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them. "
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Audience
Say
People Say
" I was a class clown. "
Colin Quinn
Class Clown
Clown
Class
" I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself. "
Colin Quinn
History
Situation
People
" When I look back now I realize I was such an obnoxious kid but, you know, I went to schools like you, like a public school in New York so compared to the anarchy that was going on there, they really wouldn't - I wasn't like a bad kid. I saw people come in and punch the teachers. "
Colin Quinn
School
Know
Look
" You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything. "
Colin Quinn
Good
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Writing
" Stand-up is live, so I'm used to being live for most of my career. It's interesting. "
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Most
Career
Interesting
" You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it. "
Colin Quinn
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Small
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" I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be. "
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" My stand-up act? I combine the fact that the world is a violent place with the fact that each person is responsible for the situation they are in. "
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" Humanity is a crazy contradiction. I accept us for who we are. We're not that great. Every time we take a step forward we go back to the same primitive behavior. We're meant to be this way. It's not our fault, it's just who we are. "
Colin Quinn
Humanity
Great
Back