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" What men value in this world is not rights but privileges. "
H. L. Mencken
World
Value
Rights
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" Most people want security in this world, not liberty. "
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" The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule. "
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" There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor. "
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" A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there. "
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" A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman. "
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" The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor. "
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" We must be willing to pay a price for freedom. "
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" I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing. "
H. L. Mencken
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" Man weeps to think that he will die so soon; woman, that she was born so long ago. "
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" Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil. "
H. L. Mencken
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" If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl. "
H. L. Mencken
Me
Thought
You
" The only cure for contempt is counter-contempt. "
H. L. Mencken
Contempt
Only
Cure
" Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too. "
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Women
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" The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable. "
H. L. Mencken
Most
Man
Dangerous
" Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. "
H. L. Mencken
Hands
Flag
Normal
" God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. "
H. L. Mencken
Afraid
Audience
God
" Women always excel men in that sort of wisdom which comes from experience. To be a woman is in itself a terrible experience. "
H. L. Mencken
Women
Wisdom
Men
" Most people are unable to write because they are unable to think, and they are unable to think because they congenitally lack the equipment to do so, just as they congenitally lack the equipment to fly over the moon. "
H. L. Mencken
Think
Moon
Write
" When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. "
H. L. Mencken
Hands
Women
Always
" No matter how long he lives, no man ever becomes as wise as the average woman of forty-eight. "
H. L. Mencken
Long
Average
Matter
" Archbishop - A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ. "
H. L. Mencken
Christ
Superior
Rank
" For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. "
H. L. Mencken
Wrong
Simple
Problem
" Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on. "
H. L. Mencken
Woman
Always
Looking
" The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. "
H. L. Mencken
More
Distrust
Grow
" It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office. "
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Hate
Common Sense
Me
" We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine. "
H. L. Mencken
Human
Knowledge
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" Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. "
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Government
Ashamed
Man
" Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it. "
H. L. Mencken
Always
Man
Fool
" Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love. "
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Women
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" Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage. "
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Government
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