Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. "

Related Quotes:

" As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler. "

" Fencing is a funny sport. Competitive fencing is not really very applicable to the stage world unless you're fighting with a rapier during the Renaissance, you know? "

Kris Holden-Ried

" I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in the face of tragedy is kind of demented. "

" One picture is worth 1,000 denials. "

Picture Is Worth

" My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" When I have had a long day at work, I want something to watch that is funny, lighthearted and easy to get into, and reality is that. I'm not really into serious programmes or documentaries. "

" My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. "

" Instant gratification takes too long. "

" A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. "

George Bernard Shaw

" Back in the '70s, like one of my favorite movies ever was 'The Bad News Bears', and that was a kids' movie, but I don't think of it that way. I think of it as just a great movie because Walter Matthau was so funny and so harsh with those kids. "

" Some people say funny things, but I say things funny. "

" Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. "

Abraham Lincoln

" What's so funny about cats is that they have this kind of aloof, superior vibe to them. Even if you love them, they are unpredictable. Dogs are more social, and the way that they attach and bond to us is much more human. "

" I always liked parties. You meet people; you can have fun. "

" Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening. "

Alexander Woollcott

" Ignoring fame was my rebellion, in a funny way. I was insistent on being normal and doing normal things. It probably wasn't advisable to go to college in America and room with a complete stranger. And it probably wasn't wise to share a bathroom with eight other people in a coed dorm. Looking back, that was crazy. "

" You meet folks who are funny and really smart and persistent and loving that are confronting this thing we call poverty, which is just a shorthand for this way of life that holds you underwater. And you just wonder what our country would be if we allowed these people to flourish and reach their full potential. "

Matthew Desmond

" A lot of newspaper columns used to be written in a rat-a-tat-tat, fast-paced style - and they tended to be funny. They were a little relief from the grimmer, grayer parts of the newspaper, and one of the best people at doing this was Will Rogers. "

" Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder? "

" Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. "

" Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long. "

" I never liked you, and I always will. "

" I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. "

" Tell me I'm beautiful, it's nothing. Tell me I'm intellectual - I know it. Tell me I'm funny, and it's the greatest compliment in the world anyone could give me. "

" I'm an unorthodox type of guy, a funny guy - at least I think I'm funny. And one of the things I like to do is come up with nicknames for myself. "

Shaquille O'Neal

" Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race. "

" Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion. "

" Who included me among the ranks of the human race? "

" Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny. Next. Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things. "

" I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny. "