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" I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times. "
Will Rogers
Day
Town
Eight
Related Quotes:
" When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur. "
Will Rogers
Earned
He
Turn
" I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. "
Will Rogers
Funny
Political Party
Political
" When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states. "
Will Rogers
Left
Both
California
" Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it. "
Will Rogers
Finance
Up
Savings
" Politics is applesauce. "
Will Rogers
Politics
" A fool and his money are soon elected. "
Will Rogers
Politics
Soon
Money
" If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them. "
Will Rogers
Same
Advertising
Improving
" Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff. "
Will Rogers
Making
Stuff
Land
" All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance. "
Will Rogers
Ignorance
Know
Just
" We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business? "
Will Rogers
Crime
Check
Business
" Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in. "
Will Rogers
Lot
Whole
Back
" Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators. "
Will Rogers
Our
Constitution
Drunks
" We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by. "
Will Rogers
Heroes
Curb
Because
" Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth. "
Will Rogers
About
Hero
Profession
" If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production. "
Will Rogers
Him
You
Sell
" Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation. "
Will Rogers
Communism
Me
Explanation
" Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. "
Will Rogers
Changing
People
Politicians
" I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do. "
Will Rogers
Places
Day
See
" If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? "
Will Rogers
Why
Got
Mess
" If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. "
Will Rogers
Pockets
Money
Government
" The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?' "
Will Rogers
Job
Best
Country
" The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats. "
Will Rogers
Why
Republican
Off
" In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing. "
Will Rogers
Writing
People
Hollywood
" The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. "
Will Rogers
Party
More
You
" Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock. "
Will Rogers
Rock
Nice
Find
" A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth. "
Will Rogers
Proportion
Hurts
Truth
" Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like. "
Will Rogers
People
Buy
Impress
" When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs. "
Will Rogers
You
Good
Down
" You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way. "
Will Rogers
Way
War
Say
" I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one. "
Will Rogers
Paid
Last
War