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" I like bowling. I suck at it, but I like it. You know what's so funny? I have days when I'm absolutely great at doing it, and then I have days when I just don't understand it. "
Lil' Kim
You
Doing
Funny
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" What's funny is that the idea of popularity - even the use of the word 'popular' - is something that had been mostly absent from my life since junior high. In fact, the hallmark of life after junior high seemed to be the shedding of popularity as a central concern. "
Susan Orlean
High
Word
Life
" Never put a sock in a toaster. "
Eddie Izzard
Put
Sock
Never
" I'm very silly as a person, but quality silliness on-screen has more of an art to it. Harrison Ford, whom I was in 'Morning Glory' with, has mastered that dry funny better than anyone. "
Rachel McAdams
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Quality
" The avant-garde theater is fun; it is free-swinging, bold, iconoclastic, and often wildly, wildly funny. If you will approach it with childlike innocence - putting your standard responses aside, for they do not apply - if you will approach it on its own terms, I think you will be in for a liberating surprise. "
Edward Albee
Think
Surprise
Innocence
" I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. "
Elayne Boosler
Matter
Three
Door
" An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out. "
George Jean Nathan
Out
Optimist
Looking
" It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. "
H. L. Mencken
Believe
Average
Ape
" Does it bother me that I'm attached to 'Three's Company' 30 years after? Not at all. All we were trying to do was be funny. How can I complain? That's all I wanted to do. "
Joyce DeWitt
Company
Years
Trying
" A lot of newspaper columns used to be written in a rat-a-tat-tat, fast-paced style - and they tended to be funny. They were a little relief from the grimmer, grayer parts of the newspaper, and one of the best people at doing this was Will Rogers. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Will
Best
Style
" There's nothing I would love more than to host an awards show where I'm nominated for an award - that is so funny to me. "
T. J. Miller
Nothing
Award
Awards
" During the Great Depression, when people laughed their worries disappeared. Audiences loved these funny men. I decided to become one. "
Jerry Stiller
Men
Depression
People
" In my circle of friends, I've always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle, I get very quiet and introspective. I don't want the spotlight on me. "
Rosie Perez
Step
Me
Funny
" I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. "
Emo Philips
Door
Next
Kid
" I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead. "
Samuel Goldwyn
Write
Think
Funny
" Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got. "
Josh Billings
Man
Most
Interesting
" You meet folks who are funny and really smart and persistent and loving that are confronting this thing we call poverty, which is just a shorthand for this way of life that holds you underwater. And you just wonder what our country would be if we allowed these people to flourish and reach their full potential. "
Matthew Desmond
Funny
People
Life
" I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. "
Groucho Marx
Evening
Wonderful
Had
" Turn up the lights. I don't want to go home in the dark. "
O. Henry
Want
Turn
Lights
" There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice. "
Lewis Black
Milk
Soy
Thing
" When you're doing a medieval show like 'Pillars,' it starts off a bit like a school play. You're all in funny costumes; you've had your coffee, and you say, 'Good morning'. Then you go on set and, if you've got good actors and directors, it takes on a life of its own. "
Ian McShane
You
Funny
Coffee
" God hadn't made me handsome, but he'd given me something, I always felt: funny bones. "
Jerry Lewis
Handsome
God
Me
" Movies don't look hard, but figuring it out, getting the shape of it, getting everybody's character right and having it be funny, make sense and be romantic, it's creating a puzzle. Yes, having been a writer for so long, I have an awareness of when things are going awry, but it doesn't mean I know how to fix them. "
Nancy Meyers
Character
Long
Puzzle
" Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening. "
Alexander Woollcott
Like
Illegal
Funny
" To handle that stardom, the red carpets, the photo shoots, people all of a sudden recognizing you and following you in everyday life, it's a bit weird. It's strange, and it can have funny effects on you in terms of do you like it or don't you like it. Some people run away from it, some people embrace it; I found a good middle ground. "
Roger Federer
Good
Run
Red
" Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. "
Benjamin Franklin
See
Wine
Us
" There's a darkness under 'The Hangover' because ultimately there's a missing person and it's not really that funny. There's a sort of darkness under it that I love, and still people are laughing as hard if not harder than they did in 'Old School.' "
Todd Phillips
School
Darkness
Funny
" To all the girls out there who think being funny is not sexy, you are wrong! "
Chad Michael Murray
Sexy
You
Wrong
" I detest jokes - when somebody tells me one, I feel my IQ dropping; the brain cells start to disappear. But something is funny when the person delivering the line doesn't know it's funny or doesn't treat it as a joke. Maybe it comes from a place of truth, or it's a sort of rage against society. "
Johnny Depp
Brain
Society
Me
" Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them. "
P. G. Wodehouse
Restaurant
Best
Funny
" It's funny how seeing a love story never gets boring, because it's the dream, isn't it? It's the dream to have a true connection with another human being. "
Felicity Jones
Connection
Dream
Funny