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" I started writing when I was 9 years old. I was like this weird kid who would just stay in my room, typing little funny magazines and drawing comic strips. "
R. L. Stine
Old
Weird
Writing
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" A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. "
Jerry Seinfeld
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You
Having
" I've made myself laugh from some ideas - but I've never scared myself. "
R. L. Stine
Never
Myself
Scared
" It's funny - I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands, and to round-faced guys for marriage. When I'm rounder in the face, I like to say, 'This is my long-term look.' Or 'This is my wife-and-kids look right here.' "
Garrett Hedlund
Look
Funny
Face
" I am blessed with a funny gene that makes me enjoy life. "
Karan Patel
Life
I Am
Enjoy Life
" I looked on my stomach and saw Frieda Rebecca, white as flour with the cream that covers new babies, funny little dark squiggles of hair plastered over her head, with big, dark-blue eyes. "
Sylvia Plath
Dark
Hair
Eyes
" I'm for whatever gets you through the night. "
Frank Sinatra
Through
You
Whatever
" The inspiration for my Vines comes from thinking about funny and relatable experiences from my daily life. "
Lele Pons
Life
Daily
Thinking
" Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax. "
Charles Kettering
One Thing
Tax
Funny
" Scenes change all the time. Scenes will change while you're shooting them, and you just have to roll with it 'cause that's what makes it funny. It's not being stuck in your character and how you're gonna do something, but to react to other people and to really have a real-life conversation. "
Yara Shahidi
Funny
Change
Character
" I regret behaving badly when I was younger. I did not know any better at the time. The thing is that the incidents that I caused were not funny... Youth is wasted on the young. It is better to have the wisdom of an old man in a young body... I was a bit foolish and teased people, trying to be funny. "
Jim Broadbent
Youth
Time
People
" I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. "
Steve Martin
Head
Hate
Funny
" This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last. "
Oscar Wilde
Will
Suspense
Last
" What's funny is that the idea of popularity - even the use of the word 'popular' - is something that had been mostly absent from my life since junior high. In fact, the hallmark of life after junior high seemed to be the shedding of popularity as a central concern. "
Susan Orlean
High
Word
Life
" All I've wanted to be is someone people look up to. It's funny - everyone says I'm controversial. I've never worked out what it is about me that's controversial. I've never had a DUI; I've never been in a brawl; you've never seen photos of me walking out of clubs at 5 A.M. "
Ruby Rose
People
You
Look
" It's funny how people who ain't never been down there can think that America is so fair and that we should be alright. It's funny that the people who have their foot on our neck are telling us, 'Get up. What's wrong with you?' "
Ice Cube
Think
You
People
" What is scary to me is silly to somebody else. CG isn't scary to me. It's like comedy - comedy and horror are quite similar, in that there'll always be somebody who'll say, 'I don't think that was funny.' And it's the same with things that are meant to be scary. "
Guillermo del Toro
Think
Comedy
Horror
" The funny thing about directing is that you have your own opinions, but it's a collaboration. Directing is a group effort. Even though you might think something works, the smartest thing you can do as a director is try and weigh the opinions of the people around you. "
Chris Evans
People
Funny
Effort
" It's funny: people who meet me say, 'I thought you'd be different.' But I'm still the same guy. "
Bill Engvall
People
Be Different
Funny
" If something is shocking without being funny it's hard to justify. "
Seth MacFarlane
Hard
Being
Being Funny
" Humor has become so cliche and boring that nothing's funny anymore unless it involves something totally disgusting that offends somebody or makes them feel really uncomfortable. "
Tom DeLonge
Feel
Funny
Humor
" It's funny: your happiness is contingent on a bigger picture besides just yourself. "
Debra Granik
" If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer. "
Rob Corddry
You
Secret
People
" The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around. "
Thomas A. Edison
Carry
Function
Brain
" I used to write out of angst. My writing was quite miserable, quite angry, even when it was funny. It was based on this sadness and tired emotional disdain for the world. "
David Thewlis
Funny
Writing
Sadness
" I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican. "
Marion Barry
Funny
Republican
Slavery
" I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it. "
Flannery O'Connor
Always
Tongue
Funny
" Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers... for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces. "
Amy Poehler
Drive
Yourself
Remember
" I realized I was gay in the shower one day with Barbra Streisand. It happened while I was lathering, rinsing, and repeating with Pert Plus. As I was belting out the chorus to my favorite song from 'Funny Girl,' 'Oh my man, I love him so, he'll never know...' it hit me. "
Ross Mathews
Day
Song
Love
" It's really irritating. Even people who like my work sometimes come up to me and say, 'I usually don't like female comedians, but your material is great!' It makes the job prospect more daunting. Funny is funny, you know? "
Chelsea Peretti
Funny
Work
People
" Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. "
Groucho Marx
Who
Women
Missing