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" Humor has become so cliche and boring that nothing's funny anymore unless it involves something totally disgusting that offends somebody or makes them feel really uncomfortable. "

Tom DeLonge

Feel

Funny

Humor

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" I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean, how can you tell? "

" In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first. "

" Turn up the lights. I don't want to go home in the dark. "

" If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. "

" Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? "

" You know the funny thing, I don't get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people. "

" I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, 'Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good.' Hopefully it balances out. "

Demetri Martin

People

Think

" When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them. "

" I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. "

" They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that? "

" He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow. "

" Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. "

" Back in the '70s, like one of my favorite movies ever was 'The Bad News Bears', and that was a kids' movie, but I don't think of it that way. I think of it as just a great movie because Walter Matthau was so funny and so harsh with those kids. "

" I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name. "

" Too much agreement kills a chat. "

" I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host. "

" Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. "

" Lana Turner was adorable and funny. Jimmy Stewart was such a nice person. I quickly realized that if you're not a nice person, you're not going to last in this business. I mean, once your box office starts to drop off, like Veronica Lake, they'll get rid of you fast. "

" The tour bus is always fun, and there's plenty of time to watch movies. Actually, Kanye introduced me to the movie 'Step Brothers.' We were sitting there, watching it and clowning around - it was so funny, man. "

" I comment on my friends' things; whatever they post, I post funny posts. I don't post anything that's too sad or mad, or at least not for too long. And I'm usually just a happy person! Silly - people would describe me as silly and crazy and fun. "

" What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? "

" Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. "

Jules Renard

You

Laziness

" What do I know of man's destiny? I could tell you more about radishes. "

" It's funny: I was a photographer before I was a programmer. "

" 'I Love You, Man' was kind of funny. "

" The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. "

" When I write in the studio, I tend to gravitate toward the ability to play really loud, aggressive, post-punk stuff, with big, heavy guitars and a big rock drum sound. "

" A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. "

" California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange. "

" If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. "