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" The inspiration for my Vines comes from thinking about funny and relatable experiences from my daily life. "

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" One man is as good as another until he has written a book. "

Benjamin Jowett

" All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. "

" What's another word for Thesaurus? "

" I wanted to be clever, but being funny came first. That's how you know someone is clever. They don't come out and tell you pi to 13 places - they tell you a joke. "

" My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious. "

" It's funny what memory does, isn't it? My favorite holiday tradition might not have happened more than once or twice. But because it is such a good memory, so encapsulating of everything I love about the holidays, in my mind it happened every year. Without fail. "

" The funny thing is, I've never really hurt myself in an action movie. I've done 'Wanted,' 'X-Men,' 'Welcome To The Punch,' even 'Trance' to a certain extent has little bits of action and stuff, but I've never really hurt myself at all - not even like a sprained ankle. "

" We adore babies because they're so cute. And, of course, we are amused by jokes because they are funny. This is all backwards. It is. And Darwin shows us why. "

" There's a darkness under 'The Hangover' because ultimately there's a missing person and it's not really that funny. There's a sort of darkness under it that I love, and still people are laughing as hard if not harder than they did in 'Old School.' "

" How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. "

" People tell me all the time when they meet me, in comedy, they say 'You have that type like Sofia Vergara; you can be like her.' She's beautiful, but she can be ugly, too; she can make ugly faces. She doesn't care. She's very outgoing. "

" A lot of newspaper columns used to be written in a rat-a-tat-tat, fast-paced style - and they tended to be funny. They were a little relief from the grimmer, grayer parts of the newspaper, and one of the best people at doing this was Will Rogers. "

" I was very shy and socially awkward. "

" It's okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. "

" One of the things I like about acting is that, in a funny way, I come back to myself. "

" The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. "

" I don't follow anything blindly. I have to know the entire thing, if I have to get in to it. It might sound funny to you, but it's like using English language. I use an English word only when I know its meaning and understand its connotation. You won't hear me say, 'What's up, dude' or anything like that just for the heck of it. "

" I look out at the stadiums full of people and see them all knowing the words to songs I wrote. And curling their hair! I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny. And wonderful. "

" Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening. "

Alexander Woollcott

" A good actor is someone who knows how to take the part and make it real and make it honest and be effective in it. If it's in a funny movie and, as long as they are cast in an appropriate way, humor will come from it. "

" I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. "

" Pretty people don't keep comedies on the air. Funny people keep comedies on the air. "

" I can really stir up a conversation. Every time I go to a meeting or a casting, I try to make it as light and funny as I can. I'm always making really awkward jokes. You have to make life fun and not take it too seriously. I may look like I'm very serious and into my work, but if you knew me, I'm just a jokester. "

Charlotte McKinney

" When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them. "

" There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices. "

" If my life wasn't funny, it would just be true, and that's unacceptable. "

" But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone. "

Garry Shandling

" There are a lot of really funny guys who are very natural in what they do: Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Seth Rogen. "

" 'I Love You, Man' was kind of funny. "

" When I was born I owed twelve dollars. "

George S. Kaufman