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" When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine. "
David Brenner
Funny
Bar
Looking
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" It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. "
Adlai E. Stevenson
Funny
Think
Look
" To me, wealth is the peace of mind you have, your family, your friends, your colleagues. Everything else is just money, and it really is funny how people pay so much attention to that. "
Ricardo Salinas Pliego
Family
Money
Peace
" It's so funny how social media was just this fun thing, and now it's this monster that consumes so many millennial lives. "
Cazzie David
Media
Social Media
Fun
" I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host. "
David Letterman
Talk
Sing
Dance
" One man's folly is another man's wife. "
Helen Rowland
Wife
Man
Funny
" If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? "
Robin Williams
Psychic
Funny
Need
" You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't. "
Garry Shandling
Curious
Funny
Know
" There is always something funny going on between scenes with Adam Sandler. He's always cracking jokes and yelling at people for no reason. It's pretty funny. He'll joke around during scenes, too. When he guest-starred on 'Jessie,' there was nothing in the script that he said first take. "
Cameron Boyce
Always
People
Nothing
" Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley's very funny, very witty guy, very quick. "
Joe Rogan
Funny
Brilliant
Guy
" People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. "
Ellen DeGeneres
People
You
Always
" I don't mean to be funny. "
Yogi Berra
Funny
Mean
" If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. "
Will Rogers
My Life
Think
Funny
" When I was young, I'd watch guys on 'The Tonight Show', Buddy Hackett, guys like that, where all they'd be is funny. Later, I remember, on 'Late Night with Letterman', I remember he'd have Jay Leno and Richard Lewis as first guests and the entire point was to entertain and be funny, and I think talk shows have kind of lost that. "
Norm MacDonald
Night
Think
Funny
" Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. "
Robert Orben
People
Health
Funny
" I've always surrounded myself with funny people. "
Leslie Mann
People
Funny
Always
" You know what? At the end of the day, funny is funny. I hope to see the end of all the female cliches that are written in a lot of comedies that are named chick flicks. "
Wendi McLendon-Covey
Day
Hope
End
" From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere. "
Dr. Seuss
Funny
Funny Things
Here
" If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? "
Lily Tomlin
Love
You
Question
" It's funny. You travel all over the world, and you wind up with a guy from your hometown. "
Patty Smyth
You
World
Wind
" I'm not funny. What I am is brave. "
Lucille Ball
Humor
Am
Brave
" The human brain is a funny thing: it's very susceptible to tempo and melody. You put the right words to it, and it becomes very influential. "
Ray Stevens
Brain
You
Words
" I'm not saying that I'm on some crusade to change people's minds. I'm just doing what I do. I'm a comedian, I'm trying to be funny... I think when they see a comedy show with an Iranian and an Egyptian and two Palestinians, I think they go, 'Oh wow, these guys are just like us.' "
Maz Jobrani
Funny
Change
Think
" Animals are sentient, intelligent, perceptive, funny and entertaining. We owe them a duty of care as we do to children. "
Michael Morpurgo
Pet
Animals
Care
" If I get dressed up, and my boyfriend says, 'You look gorgeous,' I kinda feel funny. I don't know if I'm particularly comfortable with being attractive. "
Toni Collette
Funny
Know
Look
" Funny thing is that the poorer people are, the more generous they seem to be. "
Dolly Parton
Seem
People
Funny
" I'm good at being funny. "
Tom Stoppard
Being
Good
Being Funny
" As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler. "
Calvin Trillin
Everyone
Far
Funny
" I exaggerate all our selves, our beings. I make fun of everything: of our life and what we are. But I don't tell jokes, really. I just exaggerate life, and it comes out funny. "
Don Rickles
Everything
Life
Out
" The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. "
Joe E. Lewis
Funny
Taxes
Way
" Men are only as loyal as their options. "
Bill Maher
Funny
Options
Only