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All Quotes by author - Larry David
" Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it. "
" All of a sudden I discovered that I'm allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. When I was only able to afford bad caviar, I could certainly eat my fill of it. "
" And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me. "
" Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough. "
" Anything that's for free, people will take. They don't discriminate. "
" Anytime I'm involved with anything that's well-received, it's a surprise to me. "
" At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I was gonna be doing me. "
" Drugs scared me. "
" Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy. "
" Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then. "
" Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious. "
" Golf and dating don't mix. "
" Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad. "
" Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish. "
" I am not honest. "
" I believe in something. "
I Believe In
" I can't stand reading anything that I've said. "
" I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height of the Vietnam War. "
" I defy anyone to produce any evidence that the word 'happy' has ever crossed my lips. I am not now, nor have I ever been, 'happy.' "
" I don't have many friends. "
" I don't like people cleaning my room. "
" I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide. "
" I don't like to make a big splash anyway. "
" I don't like to say anything good. I feel like I'll jinx myself. "
" I don't really know much about TV and what people want to see. I'm not that well-informed about it. "
" I don't take on big things. What I do, pretty much, is make the big things small and the small things big. "
" I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me. "
" I don't write shows with dialogue where actors have to memorize dialogue. I write the scenes where we know everything that's going to happen. There's an outline of about seven or eight pages, and then we improvise it. "
" If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away. "
" If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not? "
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