Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny. "

Related Quotes:

" Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline. "

" You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid. "

" I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height of the Vietnam War. "

" You write about what you know. "

" If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not? "

" In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year. "

" My background is degradation and sloth, mostly. "

" I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab. "

" I'm a walking, talking enigma. We're a dying breed. "

" I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter. "

" Let's not forget, I got divorced. "

" I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood. "

" Anytime I'm involved with anything that's well-received, it's a surprise to me. "

" Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. "

" There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation. "

" The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore. "

" I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me. "

" I just feed off the energy of the audience. "

" When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless. "

" It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas. "

" I'm cranky. "

" I am not honest. "

" I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them. "

" OK, I'm happy. I'm happy. All right? I'm happy. "

" Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then. "

" Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days. "

" People don't yell nasty things at actors - they let them continue. "

" Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious. "

" There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny. "

" Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis. "