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" Let's not forget, I got divorced. "

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" I'm one of the idiots that negotiates after I write. "

" People don't yell nasty things at actors - they let them continue. "

" I'm not interested in closure. Some people just have heart attacks and die, right? There's no closure. "

" Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate. "

" I'm still driving a Prius, yeah. "

" Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman. "

" Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on! "

" Anytime I'm involved with anything that's well-received, it's a surprise to me. "

" I have reservations about everything I do. "

" I don't have many friends. "

" There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That scene would've been so much better if I had written it out. "

" If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny. "

" Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough. "

" I think Michael Moore is a hero. "

" I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized. "

" Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. "

" When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom. "

" I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after. "

" Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy. "

Self-Confidence

" Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised. "

" In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year. "

" I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out. "

" No, I am a crier and if people ever saw me privately they would be shocked at what a bowl of mush I am underneath it all. "

" If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away. "

" I don't take on big things. What I do, pretty much, is make the big things small and the small things big. "

" It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically. "

" Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says, Man Gets Married! "

" I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous. "

" Woody Allen likes to do a lot of master shots. He likes to get the whole thing in one take, and so you could be going along doing a scene, and then the next to last line, all of a sudden, you stumble, and you have to go back to first base. "

" The addition of nuts in salad... I always find to be beneficial. "