Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them. "

Related Quotes:

" I'm anti-cheese in a salad. "

" There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny. "

" Women love a self-confident bald man. "

" Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on! "

" Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror. "

" You write about what you know. "

" I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there. "

" I never thought for a second that anything I ever did was going to make someone cringe. That never occurred to me. "

" I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height of the Vietnam War. "

" The lunch in a normal American restaurant is very problematic for me. I don't like to have hot food for lunch. "

" If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away. "

" Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. "

" If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not? "

" There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation. "

" Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then. "

" I defy anyone to produce any evidence that the word 'happy' has ever crossed my lips. I am not now, nor have I ever been, 'happy.' "

" It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with my aunt and my cousins right next door to me, with the door open, with neighbors walking in and out, with people yelling at each other all the time. "

" I just feed off the energy of the audience. "

" My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver. "

" Obviously comedic styles do change. "

" I think that what people imagine they're going through is much worse than what they are going through. "

" If I wasn't a golfer, I would still be miserable - but not as miserable. "

" The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore. "

" Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious. "

" No, I am a crier and if people ever saw me privately they would be shocked at what a bowl of mush I am underneath it all. "

" I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous. "

" I am not honest. "

" I don't like people cleaning my room. "

" I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab. "

" Most people think I'm immodest. "