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" I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me. "

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" I don't take on big things. What I do, pretty much, is make the big things small and the small things big. "

" Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman. "

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" I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh. "

" Most people think I'm immodest. "

" I have quite a house. People come over and I go, 'I know, I'm sorry.' "

" Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens. "

" Woody Allen likes to do a lot of master shots. He likes to get the whole thing in one take, and so you could be going along doing a scene, and then the next to last line, all of a sudden, you stumble, and you have to go back to first base. "

" Women love a self-confident bald man. "

" There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That scene would've been so much better if I had written it out. "

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" Let's not forget, I got divorced. "

" I'm anti-cheese in a salad. "

" Anything that's for free, people will take. They don't discriminate. "