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" I'm not interested in closure. Some people just have heart attacks and die, right? There's no closure. "

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" My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver. "

" People don't yell nasty things at actors - they let them continue. "

" I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish. "

" I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out. "

" Women love a self-confident bald man. "

" Obviously comedic styles do change. "

" I don't write shows with dialogue where actors have to memorize dialogue. I write the scenes where we know everything that's going to happen. There's an outline of about seven or eight pages, and then we improvise it. "

" When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless. "

" Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis. "

" I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized. "

" Anything that's for free, people will take. They don't discriminate. "

" It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy. "

" Anytime I'm involved with anything that's well-received, it's a surprise to me. "

" I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter. "

" I'm cranky. "

" Perhaps I have a wider range than I'd given myself credit for. "

" In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year. "

" There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That scene would've been so much better if I had written it out. "

" Woody Allen likes to do a lot of master shots. He likes to get the whole thing in one take, and so you could be going along doing a scene, and then the next to last line, all of a sudden, you stumble, and you have to go back to first base. "

" I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there. "

" I think that what people imagine they're going through is much worse than what they are going through. "

" There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation. "

" OK, I'm happy. I'm happy. All right? I'm happy. "

" Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy. "

Self-Confidence

" I don't like to say anything good. I feel like I'll jinx myself. "

" Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad. "

" There's nothing that reflects me. I'm unreflectable! "

" When I was living in New York, there was a lot of screaming in my life. I would just get into these altercations all the time. Being in public, dealing with shopkeepers, just trying to cross the street - things like that. "

" Once I know people know who I am, it gives me a lot of licence and freedom to behave in ways I wouldn't normally. "

" I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after. "