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" My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver. "

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" Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days. "

" When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless. "

" I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that heritage on and ensure that the misery will continue for at least one more generation. "

" I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them. "

" I don't really know much about TV and what people want to see. I'm not that well-informed about it. "

" I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian. "

" I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized. "

" I believe in something. "

" Once I know people know who I am, it gives me a lot of licence and freedom to behave in ways I wouldn't normally. "

" And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me. "

" I don't have many friends. "

" In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year. "

" I am not honest. "

" The addition of nuts in salad... I always find to be beneficial. "

" If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not? "

" I'm a walking, talking enigma. We're a dying breed. "

" At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I was gonna be doing me. "

" It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with my aunt and my cousins right next door to me, with the door open, with neighbors walking in and out, with people yelling at each other all the time. "

" When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom. "

" There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation. "

" Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad. "

" I'm not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges. "

" There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny. "

" The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore. "

" I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted. "

" I'm a walking, talking enigma. "

" I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter. "

" I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there. "

" Obviously comedic styles do change. "

" I don't like people cleaning my room. "