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" I think that what people imagine they're going through is much worse than what they are going through. "

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" It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically. "

" And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me. "

" There's nothing that reflects me. I'm unreflectable! "

" I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me. "

" I just feed off the energy of the audience. "

" I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people. "

" I'm one of the idiots that negotiates after I write. "

" I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian. "

" Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious. "

" When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom. "

" Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it. "

" I don't have many friends. "

" I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted. "

" I can't stand reading anything that I've said. "

" Let's not forget, I got divorced. "

" The lunch in a normal American restaurant is very problematic for me. I don't like to have hot food for lunch. "

" Religion doesn't play any part in my life in terms of how I live my life. But I don't think I've ever gone through a day in my life without hearing someone say the word 'Jew' or saying it myself. "

" I'm not interested in closure. Some people just have heart attacks and die, right? There's no closure. "

" I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently. "

" The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it. "

" I defy anyone to produce any evidence that the word 'happy' has ever crossed my lips. I am not now, nor have I ever been, 'happy.' "

" I don't like to say anything good. I feel like I'll jinx myself. "

" It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas. "

" I don't like to make a big splash anyway. "

" Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy. "

Self-Confidence

" I have no secrets. "

" Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate. "

" You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid. "

" I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.' "

" No, I am a crier and if people ever saw me privately they would be shocked at what a bowl of mush I am underneath it all. "