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" It's been very funny to try to act like an adult. Even getting dressed. Every day, I'm like, 'Should I wear a blazer and walk around with an umbrella? Do I carry a briefcase?' Because I'm trying to be some image of the adults I saw on TV growing up. "

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" I have too many influences to name. I like a wide variety of stuff, which I think has been helpful. I liked every comedian I saw on TV growing up in the '80s. Every comedian. "

John Mulaney

Name

Think

" Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax. "

" The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere. "

" In entertainment, I adore Ricky Gervais in 'Derek.' His performance is unbelievably charming, funny and poignant. In life, I adore my girlfriend. She is the most adorable person I have ever met - from her silly jokes to her cute teeth to her little drawings. "

" Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends. "

" They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that? "

" I never turn on the crowd. Sometimes, you think it's a terrible show, and then afterward, sometimes people say they really liked it. So turning on the crowd is only going to alienate the few people who might like it. What do I do in that situation? Get through it. "

" Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. "

Charles Dudley Warner

Anything

Funny

About

" I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. "

" Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. "

" I love Felicity Jones. It was funny because I went to go see the 'Rogue One' set, and I was like, 'Oh my God, I love you.' And she's so tiny, and elegant, and she's just so small. Everyone's so much smaller than they seem. "

" I'm probably not very funny. The scripts just don't come in, or the ones that do aren't that good. I suppose I'm just an old drama queen, really. "

" I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. "

Eddie Izzard

Funny

Europe

" My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. "

" Who included me among the ranks of the human race? "

" Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. "

" I used to write out of angst. My writing was quite miserable, quite angry, even when it was funny. It was based on this sadness and tired emotional disdain for the world. "

" I am certain there is too much certainty in the world. "

" Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist. "

" I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown. "

" All men are equal before fish. "

" When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic. "

Jane Wagner

Schizophrenic

Funny

" Chris Hemsworth is like Christopher Reeve in that he can do two things: he can wear a big red cape without a shred of self-consciousness. But he's also funny as hell, and he's so sweet. So with all the fish-out-of-water stuff, he's so funny. So he does almost two jobs in a way. "

" I used to work at NASA in Virginia. It was nothing glamorous; I was just tasked with making code compile for obscure projects, and I wasn't very good at it. Now I spend most of my time drawing pictures and looking at funny things on the Internet, which in retrospect is largely what I did at my old job, too. "

" If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. "

" Viral videos aren't just about being funny. They're about identity creation. "

" What's so funny about cats is that they have this kind of aloof, superior vibe to them. Even if you love them, they are unpredictable. Dogs are more social, and the way that they attach and bond to us is much more human. "

" I think I knew I was funny in Elementary School. I think most funny people realize it when they're young. It tends to come out of stress or trauma - something that makes you want to be funny. "

" It's such a funny thing when you see your daughter transitioning from your baby, your little girl, to suddenly being a young woman. If you're not really looking for it, you can miss it, and Lily-Rose is on that road already, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. "

" A rich man's joke is always funny. "