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" A rich man's joke is always funny. "
Thomas Edward Brown
Always
Funny
Joke
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" Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. "
Jim Carrey
Eyes
Her
Great
" I started writing 'Southern Baptist Sissies' right after I had written the screenplay for 'Sordid Lives', so that's when I started on a darker path in telling the truth about my journey in the church, but there was still a lot of funny. "
Del Shores
Path
Funny
Truth
" There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. "
Josh Billings
Mistake
Memory
Funny
" There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. "
Josh Billings
Together
Funny
Power
" I love the funny and sweet moments I have with my cats, Jake and Frank, so I'm honored to be celebrating these moments at the Catdance Film Festival. "
Hannah Simone
" What's so funny about cats is that they have this kind of aloof, superior vibe to them. Even if you love them, they are unpredictable. Dogs are more social, and the way that they attach and bond to us is much more human. "
Ze Frank
Kind
You
Bond
" Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. "
Will Rogers
Thankful
Be Thankful
Government
" I used to write out of angst. My writing was quite miserable, quite angry, even when it was funny. It was based on this sadness and tired emotional disdain for the world. "
David Thewlis
Funny
Writing
Sadness
" It's funny: When I first heard they were thinking of me for the president in 'Independence Day,' I just assumed it was a comedy - I didn't exactly think of myself as leader-of-the-free-world material. "
Bill Pullman
Day
Think
Myself
" I'm a pretty funny guy, and I would love to do a comedy with a bunch of funny guys - movie-star guys, where they could help me through it. "
LeBron James
Help
Love
Funny
" My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. "
Ellen DeGeneres
Day
Walking
She
" They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. "
Clint Eastwood
Lightning
They Say
Say
" Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups. "
Cathy Guisewite
Love
Guilt
Funny
" I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he's just, he's talking about serious things, but in a funny way. Other comedians will talk about serious things in a serious way, and then you don't know what's going on. "
Norm MacDonald
Talking
Funny
Know
" Humor has become so cliche and boring that nothing's funny anymore unless it involves something totally disgusting that offends somebody or makes them feel really uncomfortable. "
Tom DeLonge
Feel
Funny
Humor
" I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican. "
Marion Barry
Funny
Republican
Slavery
" I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. "
Elayne Boosler
Matter
Three
Door
" Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. "
Will Rogers
Funny
Long
Everything
" A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.' "
Claude Pepper
Value
Year
Green
" The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. "
Dave Barry
Building
Water
Universe
" I'm going to take this God-given gift of being funny, and I'm going to spread it out like peanut butter on everything I do. "
Steve Harvey
Funny
Everything
Peanut Butter
" I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. "
Emo Philips
Alone
Thanks
Sleeping
" Sometimes I think I'm funny. But then sometimes I see myself, and I think, 'There's somebody trying to be funny.' "
Paul Rudd
Sometimes
Myself
Funny
" Reality continues to ruin my life. "
Bill Watterson
Reality
Life
Funny
" There's a darkness under 'The Hangover' because ultimately there's a missing person and it's not really that funny. There's a sort of darkness under it that I love, and still people are laughing as hard if not harder than they did in 'Old School.' "
Todd Phillips
School
Darkness
Funny
" It's funny how it usually works out that I end up dying. It sort of works out, because by the time I die, I'm usually tired of working on that particular movie, so I look forward to it. "
Owen Wilson
Tired
Funny
Look
" Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. "
Mae West
Funny
Tried
Before
" All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can only hope that other people think that what you think is funny is funny. I don't have an answer but I just try to plough straight ahead. "
Will Ferrell
You
People
Hope
" The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. "
Bill Vaughan
Love
Tax
Funny
" As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler. "
Calvin Trillin
Everyone
Far
Funny