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" I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. "

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" 'Hustle' is wonderfully enjoyable because all my life, I've made an effort to be with people who can make me laugh. That original cast - Marc Warren, Jaime Murray, Robert Glenister and Adrian Lester - are all funny. So I know every day I'll have a few good laughs. "

" The funny thing is people won't let me pay for things. I'll be in a restaurant and the manager will say, 'Oh no, it's on the house.' "

Richard Branson

" A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book. "

Ernest Hemingway

" I don't write material. Funny things happen to me in the course of a day, and I just make notes. "

" A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers. "

" I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time. "

Charles M. Schulz

" There is a saying that if you get something for free, you should know that you're the product. It was never more true than in the case of Facebook and Gmail and YouTube. You get free social-media services, and you get free funny cat videos. In exchange, you give up the most valuable asset you have, which is your personal data. "

Yuval Noah Harari

" I'm good at being funny. "

" Humor is the oxygen of children's literature. There's a lot of competition for children's time, but even kids who hate to read want to read a funny book. "

" Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children. "

" The avant-garde theater is fun; it is free-swinging, bold, iconoclastic, and often wildly, wildly funny. If you will approach it with childlike innocence - putting your standard responses aside, for they do not apply - if you will approach it on its own terms, I think you will be in for a liberating surprise. "

" Being funny with a funny voice is more my comfort zone, a broader character that I try to humanize, a kind of silly or wacky persona that I try to fill in. "

" Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you. "

" You know, fame is a funny thing, man, especially, you know, actors, musicians, rappers, rock singers, it's kind of a lifestyle and it's easy to get caught up in it - you go to bars, you go to clubs, everyone's doing a certain thing... It's tough. "

" Some people say funny things, but I say things funny. "

" 'Danger Girl' can be ridiculous, but sometimes it's funny. "

" You can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things. "

" I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, 'Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good.' Hopefully it balances out. "

" Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. "

" Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers. "

" There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world. "

Jean Baudrillard

" They're great girls. They're very funny, they're very smart, they're fun to be with. They're very lively, as I think people can tell. And you know, they're very confident girls. "

" I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny. "

" That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't. "

" My kind of wanting to be funny didn't come from need, necessarily. The closest I can analyze it is that it was an easy way to make friends, I found out. It was just a great kind of social tool. "

" It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. "

" Life can be dramatic and funny all in the same day. "

Jennifer Aniston

" It is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic principle of physics, that action and reaction are equal and opposite, that when you persecute people you always rouse them to be strong and stronger. "

" The musicals that I loved, growing up - many, many. 'Singing in the Rain,' of course, is a classic, I love 'Meet Me in St. Louis.' I love 'Funny Face,' Stanley Donen's beautiful movie. It's really countless for me. "

" My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. "

Ellen DeGeneres