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" When shooting in the dark, it is a good idea to use a machine gun. "

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" Whoever invented double clicking should be shot in the head! Twice! "

" Yeah, computers are going to take over the programming business because they have become so fast recently that they can solve the Halting Problem in five seconds flat. "

" From each according to his ability, to each according to his ability. "

" It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals. "

" You usually have to wait for that which is worth waiting for. "

" Geez, all that money we waste on space exploration; just think how many bombs that would buy! "

" It's funny how most activists are pacifists. "

" It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow. "

" If I gave a damn what other people think of me, I would be more like other people. "

" I think; therefore, I am the center of the universe. "

" My to-do list is so long that it doesn't have an end; it has an event horizon. "

" Think Tank, noun: The shower. "

" Don't trust anyone who has been in school for the past 24 consecutive years. "

" Don't judge a book by its thickness either. "

" Time is a resource whose supply is inversely proportional to its demand. "

" Live every day as if it is your last, and you'll be correct sooner than you otherwise would be. "

" The Thought Police: To censor and protect. "

" The world is real. Consciousness is the illusion. "

" The people who actually do things always suffer the slings and arrows of those who don't. "

" When anarchy is declared, the first thing we do, let's kill all the anarchists. "

The First Thing

" The only thing that is obscene is censorship. "

" The entire universe is working against me. I can't believe the entire universe could be that foolish! "

" Never question the relevance of truth, but always question the truth of relevance. "

" Supermarket automatic doors open for me; therefore, I am. "

" Never underestimate the power of a simple tool. "

" The difference between being able to understand something and inventing it in the first place... is called genius. "

" Something is always simple until you try it. "

" Silence is a statement that is open to gross misinterpretation. "

" Even IBM can't stand in the way of progress... for more than a decade. "

" Things always look better when you haven't seen them. "