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" I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself. "
Rodney Dangerfield
Girl
Myself
Last Night
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" A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home. "
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" I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. "
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" I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. "
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" I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot. "
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" When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother. "
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" I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. "
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" I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. "
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" Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid. "
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