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" The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us. "
Quentin Crisp
Opinion
People
Purpose
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" Decency must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep. "
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" For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook. "
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" Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level. "
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" In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis. "
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" I simply haven't the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds. "
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" The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as 'Soho' poverty. It comes from having the airs and graces of a genius and no talent. "
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Genius
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" Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne. "
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Wearing
Diplomatic
Unpleasant
" For an introvert his environment is himself and can never be subject to startling or unforeseen change. "
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Change
Environment
Introvert
" There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings. "
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" Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are. "
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Fashion
Adopt
You
" Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone - but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding. "
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Love
Foundation
Enough
" The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency. "
Quentin Crisp
Life
Happiness
Moving
" The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster. "
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Treat
Relationship
Achieving
" Abatement in the hostility of one's enemies must never be thought to signify they have been won over. It only means that one has ceased to constitute a threat. "
Quentin Crisp
Over
Never
Won
" However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police. "
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Man
Level
He
" There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse. "
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Four
First
Dirt
" The trouble with children is that they're not returnable. "
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Trouble
Children
" It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn't give enough. "
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Enough
Last
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" It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom; it is the constant repetition of them that has this liberating effect. Tolerance is the result not of enlightenment, but of boredom. "
Quentin Crisp
Tolerance
Simple
Freedom
" I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum. "
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Involvement
Other
People
" Sex is the last refuge of the miserable. "
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Last
Refuge
Sex
" Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses. "
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Finding
Character
Intelligence
" My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it. "
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Mother
Father
Parenting
" Men get laid, but women get screwed. "
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Get
Laid
Men
" When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe? "
Quentin Crisp
Believe
You
God
" The law is simply expediency wearing a long white dress. "
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Dress
Wearing
Simply
" Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. There are so many trivial ways in which it is possible to commit some social sin. "
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Person
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" To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody. "
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Know
Despise
Everybody
" If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style. "
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Succeed
Failure
First
" Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors. "
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Neighbors
Same
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