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" Supermarket automatic doors open for me; therefore, I am. "

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" In order for a man to be truly evil, he must be a woman. "

" Liberalism is financed by the dividends from Conservatism. "

" The people who actually do things always suffer the slings and arrows of those who don't. "

" The Thought Police: To censor and protect. "

" I wonder if those people shown protesting the deployment of nuclear weapons to western Europe during the Reagan era are feeling appropriately stupid today. 'Please don't take away our precious Soviet Union! - We demand the annihilation of all life on Earth!' "

" If the shoe fits, it is probably worn out. "

" Whoever invented double clicking should be shot in the head! Twice! "

" The world is real. Consciousness is the illusion. "

" Never question the relevance of truth, but always question the truth of relevance. "

" Anything on paper is obsolete! "

" 1 + 1 = 2. Everything else is derived. "

Everything Else

" If I gave a damn what other people think of me, I would be more like other people. "

" Time is a resource whose supply is inversely proportional to its demand. "

" Fighting a war on terrorism is like fighting against crime. We can never hope to eradicate crime, so we shouldn't bother fighting it. "

" I think; therefore, I am the center of the universe. "

" Even IBM can't stand in the way of progress... for more than a decade. "

" Geez, all that money we waste on space exploration; just think how many bombs that would buy! "

" Think Tank, noun: The shower. "

" When trying to locate something, search your mind first. "

" Nothing surpasses the beauty and elegance of a bad idea. "

" The only thing that is obscene is censorship. "

" It's funny how most activists are pacifists. "

" Yeah, computers are going to take over the programming business because they have become so fast recently that they can solve the Halting Problem in five seconds flat. "

" Organizations like the ACLU fought and won the good fight back in the 1960's, but it's clear that nowadays they've run out of useful things to do since they now spend most of their time defending the scum of the Earth from getting what they rightly deserve. "

" Now is the time for all good men to run like hell. "

" It's easy to idealize someone that you don't know. "

" Don't judge a book by its thickness either. "

" The difference between being able to understand something and inventing it in the first place... is called genius. "

" Things always look better when you haven't seen them. "

" Live every day as if it is your last, and you'll be correct sooner than you otherwise would be. "