Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. "

Related Quotes:

" Funny thing is that the poorer people are, the more generous they seem to be. "

" God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. "

Garrison Keillor

" I don't say things to be offensive; I say things because they're funny to me. It amuses me. "

" Every girls' night needs a funny movie and a good conversation about guys! My friends and I also love picking outfits out for each other to try on at slumber parties. It's so fun. "

Jennette McCurdy

" I started writing when I was 9 years old. I was like this weird kid who would just stay in my room, typing little funny magazines and drawing comic strips. "

" All men are equal before fish. "

" I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It's chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one. "

" I read part of it all the way through. "

" I really love showing up at work at 10 A.M., trying to make it funny until 3 P.M., and then going home. It's like comedy bankers' hours. "

" We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. "

" It is funny to me that because I can run, because I'm athletic, people tend to see that as my only asset. "

Colin Kaepernick

" It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. "

" A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. "

" I like being funny; I like laughing with people. "

" The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny. "

" Back in the '70s, like one of my favorite movies ever was 'The Bad News Bears', and that was a kids' movie, but I don't think of it that way. I think of it as just a great movie because Walter Matthau was so funny and so harsh with those kids. "

" Fashions have done more harm than revolutions. "

" I meditate and I also think about meditation. Which is funny. I think about Maharishi, about just the idea of meditating. It gives me something. "

" I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent. "

" I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. "

" If you're serious, you really understand that it's important that you laugh as much as possible and admit that you're the funniest person you ever met. You have to laugh. Admit that you're funny. Otherwise, you die in solemnity. "

" Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers. "

" Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you. "

" What after all, is a halo? It's only one more thing to keep clean. "

Christopher Fry

" If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. "

Alice Roosevelt Longworth

" I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown. "

" I realized I was gay in the shower one day with Barbra Streisand. It happened while I was lathering, rinsing, and repeating with Pert Plus. As I was belting out the chorus to my favorite song from 'Funny Girl,' 'Oh my man, I love him so, he'll never know...' it hit me. "

" I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren't any rules, how could you break them? "

" If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you. "

" I was always good at being observationally funny - like, contributing something funny to the conversation. "