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" I don't care how handsome or fabulous or funny the groom is, or how sweet and accommodating the bride, or vice versa. Marriage is hard. "

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" If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. "

" Comedy is a tool of togetherness. It's a way of putting your arm around someone, pointing at something, and saying, 'Isn't it funny that we do that?' It's a way of reaching out. "

" If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. "

Tallulah Bankhead

" I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses. "

" What most readers do not realize is that it takes a particular genius to write funny, to satirize. "

" Eyebrows are really important because they structure the face. In school it was funny because I was always the one walking around with tweezers plucking my girlfriends' eyebrows. I was really good; eyebrow tweezing runs in my family - my mother used to do mine, and I picked it up. "

" To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is. "

Misunderstanding

" Let's make some funny pictures. "

" Memories are doing funny things to us. "

" Fencing is a funny sport. Competitive fencing is not really very applicable to the stage world unless you're fighting with a rapier during the Renaissance, you know? "

Kris Holden-Ried

" Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. "

" I don't follow anything blindly. I have to know the entire thing, if I have to get in to it. It might sound funny to you, but it's like using English language. I use an English word only when I know its meaning and understand its connotation. You won't hear me say, 'What's up, dude' or anything like that just for the heck of it. "

" If you're naturally kind, you attract a lot of people you don't like. "

William Feather

" The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, everyone still wants the brooding, dangerous guy you shouldn't have. "

" A rich man's joke is always funny. "

Thomas Edward Brown

" I'm quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some people don't get me, and some people do. "

Millie Bobby Brown

" If my mother hadn't laughed at the funny things I did, I probably wouldn't be a comic actor. After she had her first heart attack, the doctor said, 'Try to make her laugh.' And that was the first time I tried to make anyone laugh. "

" If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. "

" One of the things I like about acting is that, in a funny way, I come back to myself. "

" The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. "

" There is a saying that if you get something for free, you should know that you're the product. It was never more true than in the case of Facebook and Gmail and YouTube. You get free social-media services, and you get free funny cat videos. In exchange, you give up the most valuable asset you have, which is your personal data. "

Yuval Noah Harari

" I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own. "

" Miami Beach is where neon goes to die. "

" I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down. "

" I think that I come off as, 'Nothing bothers me, I don't care! I'm funny and sassy.' But I'm deeply sensitive. Not only about myself but to others. Not to pat myself on the back, empathy is a quality I've cultivated over my life. It came naturally to me as a child. "

" Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else? "

" You can always tell when a man's well informed. His views are pretty much like your own. "

H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

" At the end of the day it's got to be a good movie, it's got to be a funny movie, and it's got to make people think, 'Hey, I couldn't have spent my time any better.' "

" There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. "

" I always just wanted to be funny. I never really planned to be scary. "