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" Growing up in New Jersey, bat mitzvas were all about the elegant parties. "

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" Joan Rivers was a role model to comics everywhere, but especially to women. She got the first laugh and the last laugh. "

" The first time I did stand-up was on a dare. "

" I always dreamed of living in N.Y.C. "

" I'm not selfish at all. "

" There is no reason to be ashamed of who you are. "

" My mother loves it when I talk about her. Half the time, I think she says things that she knows will go straight into the act. "

" When I got a part in 'All American Girl,' in 1994, I remember thinking, 'Now I have a series, I'm not going to need to do standup,' but every night I'd go out afterward and get onstage somewhere. "

" Remember the phrase - 'Act your age, not your shoe size?' That didn't apply to me, as they were the same until the age of 12 when my feet stopped growing. "

" I've done stand-up since I was 18 years old, and I absolutely love it, but I used to go onstage, and the audience was my peers. Now I go onstage, and I could be their mother. "

" My desire for my own sitcom began as a little girl - I spent hours lying on my belly on the shag carpeting getting lost in the world of the '70s sitcom. All I wanted to do was run away to the Brady house, The Partridge Family bus; even the project on 'Good Times' seemed better than Clark, NJ. "

" I love standup, but not the grind of traveling and dealing with club owners. "

" I'm not sure when exactly I knew I was funny, but I always knew I was different. I never had an 'edit' button and would say whatever came into my head. Most of the time, what came out of my mouth was the very thing everyone else was thinking - but too polite or afraid to verbalize. "

" I do believe that it's something that we don't talk about, but when there are clearly defined gender roles, it is much simpler. Because you don't have to think, which people apparently don't like to do. "

" My mother is a tall woman - as is everyone in my family. At her prime, she stood 5 feet 9 inches, which is quite unusual for a woman born in 1922. "

" Some people use stand-up to get something else in their careers, but it's truly the art form of stand-up I love. "

" I started taking all these cooking classes. I learned a lot in them, but you think you're going to retain it, and you don't. Under the pressure, it's hard to retain everything. "

" Many comics stay in one city and develop their acts for that particular audience. "

" Female comics cannot dress provocatively on stage. "

" My partner and I had our first son in 1996, and the office became the baby's room. Our second son was born in 2001, and the office became the kids' room. "

" When Joan Rivers walked through the curtain on 'The Tonight Show,' nobody in my house was allowed to utter a sound. Her gait was full of pep and purpose and her voice unmatched. "

" Unfortunately, I cook for two boys, and they don't care what it looks like on the plate, and neither do I. "

" Women are taught that if you want to be a lady, keep your opinions to yourself and be polite. "

" My two sons are the biggest pigs - always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting. "

" The fight in theatre is focus, focus, focus. "

" To have a job making people laugh really is the greatest thing. "

" I worked at Military Media, an advertising agency for military-base newspapers. Don't ask, I won't tell. "

" Joan Rivers was my hero. "

" I would love to get married, first of all, from my children's perspective. People don't think of children when they think of gay marriage, but I do have children, and for them to see their family validated as other families are validated and protected by our government, yes. "

" Comedy is all about having a point of view, and it's also about power. "

" People always think you have a lot of money when they see you on TV. "